The Cult of Winning
Don Simpson, one of the producers of the very popular Tom Cruise movie, Top Gun, said that he and his co-producer, Jerry Bruckheimer “side with the winners; we aren’t interested in the losers—they’re boring to us.” These filmmakers only reflect the predominant cultural view: you are hero if you win and a bum if you lose. And research has demonstrated that kids believe this lie--they think winners are better people!
When the culture worships winners, it stresses our kids. Psychologist Roni Cohen-Sandler in her extensive work among teens has found that it “does not matter whether I am speaking with middle school or high school students, whether they come from urban areas or privileged suburban neighborhoods, or whether I am meeting with teens in focus groups or consulting privately with them in my office—almost without exception they tell me that they feel stressed by pressures to excel.”
This pressure to excel has been particularly hard on many girls who report being “totally stressed-out,” “overwhelmed,” and “completely exhausted.” Because the bar is set so high, many of them believe that to be successful they have to be extraordinary. “These teens think that besides acing every subject, they must also star in their school plays, shine in music, excel athletically, be popular, and win awards.”
The U.S.A.’s top marathoner, Ryan Hall, was almost a casualty to these pressures. Hall set very high goals for himself in running. But his “obsession” to make the 2004 Olympic Team, led to burn out. Some mornings he could barely get out of bed. He would “try desperately to go for a run, only to get 800 yards, give up and walk back home.” Hall explained: “There wasn’t anything wrong with my body; I was just emotionally and spiritually wrecked.” When he changed his goal to being faithful to God, he found freedom and greater “success”. He told God: “Whatever you want to do with it, do it. If you want to take me to the Olympics, great. If You don’t, that’s great, too.” Running became a delight again because he had the “freedom to not have to achieve something—to be able to just go out and do it for the love of doing it.”
Like Ryan Hall, our son wanted to be successful. (See previous post.) But he had to learn that in God’s world, he is successful when he is faithful: “It is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” He was successful when he worked hard in practice, when he practiced on his own, when he didn’t grumble about the coach’s decisions, when he cheered his teammates (even the one playing ahead of him!). We reminded him that his performance might not look significant in the team’s season-ending statistics, but that God keeps a different set of books!
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