The Parents of a Prodigal
Waiting for Prodigals to come home can be agonizing. David Sheff, whose son was nearly devoured by drugs, admitted: “I am becoming used to an overwhelming, grinding mixture of anger and worry. It is a bleak and hopeless feeling.” In Jesus’ story, the father thought he would never see his son again—this son of mine was dead. And unfortunately, many Prodigals teeter back and forth between death and life—there may be several homecomings!
What produces a Prodigal? Many parents blame themselves. David Sheff explains: “I often feel as if I have totally failed my son. In admitting this, I am not looking for sympathy or absolution, I am stating a truth that will be recognized by most parents who have been through this.” Sheff continually asked himself where he had gone wrong: “Did I spoil him? Was I too lenient? Did I give him too little attention? Too much? If only his mother and I had stayed together. If only and if only and if only ...”
But Jesus’ story doesn’t blame the father—the blame is squarely on the son. The son was the one who came up with and executed the plan to gain his inheritance and run to the Far Country. Even when parents share the blame, it does no good to pummel themselves. They will need all the strength they have—and more!—to fight today’s battles.
The Far Country isn’t just the choice of troubled kids. David’s Sheff’s son was a good student, happy, loved his parents, but thought he could dabble in drugs. He discovered the hard way that drugs were more potent than he was. At one point during his recovery, he suffered a relapse: “I got cocky. It’s this trick of addiction. You think, My life isn’t unmanageable, I’m doing fine. You lose your humility. You think you are strong enough to handle it.”
Parents, do you realize the danger that modern kids face? When I was a child, drugs were only something doctors’ prescribed. Today, “drugs pervade every college campus in America, and every city, so a young adult must learn how to live among them.” We must prepare our children so they understand the pull of the world and their own propensity to sin. Unless they learn how to humbly depend on God's strength, they may become painfully lost in the Far Country.
2011/09/29
2011/09/09
The Prodigal Son: Part 6
The Other Sinner
Why did Jesus have to ruin a good story? Doesn’t he like happy endings?! Just when we were enjoying a good party, the father’s elder son returned from his field work wanting to know why there was music and dancing. When he found out that the party was for his wayward brother, he became angry and refused to go into [the party].
The older brother’s anger is understandable. While his brother was sowing his wild oats, this brother was sowing real oats for his father. He probably thought: “What are you doing, Dad?! Throwing a party for a son who squandered everything and came home because it was his last choice?! He’ll just do it again. Maybe you’re taken in by him but I’m not!” I have a friend whose parents have bailed out his brother again and again and again. The result? He has never become a responsible adult.
But this isn’t a bailout, it is a homecoming. Dad didn’t replenish the Prodigal’s bank account, he simply threw a party for his returned-from-the-dead son. Isn’t that what a dad should do?! Jesus included a second brother in this story to show that there are different types of sinners. The father had two sons who were lost. The first was lost in the far country of debauchery; the second in the far country of pride. Listen to Mr. Responsibility’s claim to his father: All these years I have been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Could any child never disobey?!
The elder brother’s prideful sin led him to reject his brother even before he talked with him. Speaking to his father he called his brother: This son of yours. He could only see what his brother was, not what his brother could become. Arrogant people give no second chances. The person you were as a teen is the same person you are as an adult.
The apostle Paul observed that the sins of some men are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them. (I Tim.5:24) Newspapers are full of Prodigals’ sins. But few divulge the cold, unforgiving hearts of elder brothers. These Elder Brothers often boast of sins they have not committed but are blind to the sins that are destroying them.
Are you having trouble forgiving someone? Are you willing to confess that your unwillingness is also a sin? Repent before your heart becomes a stone.
Why did Jesus have to ruin a good story? Doesn’t he like happy endings?! Just when we were enjoying a good party, the father’s elder son returned from his field work wanting to know why there was music and dancing. When he found out that the party was for his wayward brother, he became angry and refused to go into [the party].
The older brother’s anger is understandable. While his brother was sowing his wild oats, this brother was sowing real oats for his father. He probably thought: “What are you doing, Dad?! Throwing a party for a son who squandered everything and came home because it was his last choice?! He’ll just do it again. Maybe you’re taken in by him but I’m not!” I have a friend whose parents have bailed out his brother again and again and again. The result? He has never become a responsible adult.
But this isn’t a bailout, it is a homecoming. Dad didn’t replenish the Prodigal’s bank account, he simply threw a party for his returned-from-the-dead son. Isn’t that what a dad should do?! Jesus included a second brother in this story to show that there are different types of sinners. The father had two sons who were lost. The first was lost in the far country of debauchery; the second in the far country of pride. Listen to Mr. Responsibility’s claim to his father: All these years I have been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Could any child never disobey?!
The elder brother’s prideful sin led him to reject his brother even before he talked with him. Speaking to his father he called his brother: This son of yours. He could only see what his brother was, not what his brother could become. Arrogant people give no second chances. The person you were as a teen is the same person you are as an adult.
The apostle Paul observed that the sins of some men are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them. (I Tim.5:24) Newspapers are full of Prodigals’ sins. But few divulge the cold, unforgiving hearts of elder brothers. These Elder Brothers often boast of sins they have not committed but are blind to the sins that are destroying them.
Are you having trouble forgiving someone? Are you willing to confess that your unwillingness is also a sin? Repent before your heart becomes a stone.
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