Those Marvelous, Maddening Differences
Cathy lives by lists--grocery lists, shopping lists, appointment
lists, phone lists, household repair lists. I make a list once or twice a year
and then quickly misplace it. Cathy is punctual,
while I could show up 30 minutes late for a meeting with the President of the
United States. Cathy is cold-natured, but I sweat at twenty below. Cathy
relishes social gatherings; I prefer solitude. Cathy enjoys the anticipation
of planned events; I like spontaneity.
So, did I marry the wrong woman? Should I have found someone more like myself? No! No! No! Our profound differences are God-designed because marriage's intent is to compliment or complete individuals. The old adage that opposites attract is not only spot-on, it is also Biblical. After God created Adam he announced: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." The Hebrew word translated "suitable", literally means "corresponding to". Cathy has strengths where I have weaknesses; and I have strengths where she is weak.
Early in our marriage Cathy and I were leaving on a long trip. I carried our baggage to the car and began packing the trunk. When the trunk was full, I stuffed the remaining items in the back seat. When Cathy saw my work, she pulled everything out and repacked the car. When she was finished, everything fit into the trunk--with room to spare. My first response was anger--how dare she show me up like that! But once I realized that the ability to pack a trunk was not the measure of my manhood(!), I gladly relinquished the task to her. Her organizational abilities have been a tremendous blessing to me.
But all is not fun and games, These differences can become a
breeding ground for conflict. He thinks the best vacation is a camping and
fishing trip. She prefers a luxury suite at the Radisson. He comes from a
family that barely noticed birthdays. Her family treated each birthday like a
Bi-Centennial celebration!
What is God up to when he joins two dissimilar people? He is sharpening
dull axes—and this grinding creates sparks! When I forget that punctuality is important
to Cathy and make her unnecessarily late, I come face to face with my own
selfishness. “Help me, Lord, submit to and
grow from this sharpening process.”
