2007/10/25

Divorce: The Truth About Ourselves

Most people who seek a divorce think they are getting away from a troublesome spouse--what many are fleeing is themselves. Mike Mason explains that the closer we are drawn to another person the more we are revealed in the other's light, revealed for what we are. Others are mirrors in which we see ourselves, not as we would like to be, but as we are. Whenever we pull away, searching in one mirror after another for a more pleasing image, what we are really doing is avoiding the truth about ourselves.

In the early years of our marriage Cathy and I battled frequently. We didn't even have the self-control to keep our fights private--I doubt either of our families would have bet a dollar on a 10th, or even a 5th, wedding anniversary! Being convinced that the weight of our problems rested on her, I prayed diligently that God would change her. But my prayers seemed to have little effect. So what was the solution? Was it time to admit my mistake and go fishing in the pond again? Thank God I didn't. Eventually through the Scriptures, and the patience of my wife, I was given sight. She didn’t need near as much help as I did: Lord, forgive me for being so blind. Remove my selfishness and pride. Help me become the husband you want me to be.

When my gardening tools need sharpening I take them to a friend who has a grinding wheel. As I lay the shovel on that rotating stone the sparks fly like it is the 4th of July. If my shovel could speak, it would probably scream at the stone’s grinding away of its nicks and notches. But if it avoids the stone, it looses its effectiveness. So it is in life. It is in the friction of intimacy that our rough edges can be revealed and removed. We must remember the counsel of Solomon: As iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpen another. (Prov.27:17).

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