A famine in Canaan forced Jacob to send ten of his sons to Egypt to buy life-sustaining grain. (Benjamin, dad’s new favorite, stayed home.) When they arrived, they were given an audience with the architect of Egypt’s grain surplus. What a twist of fate! The man was none other than Joseph, though his brothers didn’t recognize an older, Eyptianized Joseph. But Joseph recognized them immediately.
Put yourself in Joseph’s shoes. Standing before you are the brothers who conspired to destroy you. Their cruelty caused you incredible suffering--sold to slave traders, re-sold to an Egyptian official, falsely accused of rape, imprisoned, and more. But now your day has come. Though you buried the hatchet years ago, you now have an unexpected opportunity to dig it up and hack your brothers down to size. What will you do?
Joseph didn’t seem to know what to do with them so he remained a stranger and spoke harshly to them: You are spies! You have come to see where our land is unprotected. He then threw them all in prison. Then on second thought, he released all but Simeon who would only be released if they returned with their brother Benjamin (Joseph’s only full brother). Was Joseph toying with them? punishing them?
Biblical stores are not fairy tales which offer simple problems and simple solutions. Forgiveness for deep hurts is seldom quick or easy—and it wasn’t for Joseph. Why is it hard? Forgiveness often feels like we are letting people get away with something. Joseph didn’t want his brothers “to admit [they] made a mistake, flip an apology in [his] direction, and go on as if [they] had done nothing worse than burping before dessert.”
Like Joseph, we may want to deliver some pain to our abusers--a wife who bitterly complains to her husband about his work schedule, knowing that her nagging wounds him; the employee who sharpens his dagger of bitterness so that he can slash his lazy workmate; a brother who frequently broadcasts the cruel deeds of an older brother, hoping to shame the brother who caused him so much agony as a child.
Though we may enjoy tormenting those who have tormented us, this is not God’s solution to our pain.
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