Redeeming Time, Part 3

Focus On Key Relationships

Have you ever tallied the people you regularly rub shoulders with? My partial list includes: my wife, my kids, my grandkids, my neighbors, my students, members of my church, extended family,  business associates, athletic friends, men from a morning Bible study. But that isn’t all. Modern technology allows me to have regular contact with former students & classmates, missionaries in the Ukraine, Turkey and Israel, friends who formerly lived in Sioux Falls, couples I taught at a summer camp, and on and on.

William Powers “likens our digital age to a gigantic room” with more than 1 billion people who are instantly available to each other. Powers explains: “At any moment someone may come up and tap us on the shoulder – a text, a hit, a comment, a tweet, a post, a message. . . We enjoy the room immensely. But eventually we grow tired of the constant noise. . . . So we decide to take a vacation. But no one else seems interested in leaving. In fact, they all seem put off that you might not want to stay.” How true! We grumble and complain when someone doesn’t respond to our text within 10-15 minutes: “Where are you?!”

The result is that many of us feel like we are drowning in a crowded sea of relationships. This isn’t the way it used to be: “A century ago, social relationships were largely confined to the distance of an easy walk. Most were conducted in person, within small communities: family, neighbors, townspeople. Yes, the horse and carriage made longer trips possible, but even a trip of thirty miles could take all day. And if someone moved from the community, relationships were likely to end.”

Now obviously, people are very important—the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. But that doesn’t mean that I am obligated to develop a relationship with every person who drifts through my life. In descending order, Jesus spent the most time with his closest friends (Peter, James and John), next the Twelve, then a committed group of 72 disciples, then the larger body of disciples, and finally, the masses.

Many of us feel harried because we are trying to keep up with too many relationships. Thus, relationships—which are designed to be renewing—suck the life out on us. When I flit from one shallow relationship to another, who knows when I am tempted? when I am hurting? when I need encouragement?

 

When I spread myself too broadly, I don’t have time for the most important relationships. Who begs me to spend 15 minutes reading with my kids at bedtime? Who exhorts me to spend quiet time with God? Who twists my arm to date my wife? In Deuteronomy, Moses explained that a newly married husband was freed from work and military duties for one year so he could "bring happiness" to his bride. Wow! A 52 week honeymoon!

God wants us to give priority to our most significant relationships. We can’t do this unless we say “No” to many, many other relationships.