Marriage: Part 9

Reviving a Broken Marriage 

In the world’s first wedding sermon, God listed the key ingredients in a successful marriage: "Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh." When two marry, they are called to form a bond that will endure through the good times and the bad times. It is a "til-death-do-us-part" commitment, rather than romantic feelings that creates an enduring unity.  

The problem with feelings is that they are not always trustworthy. Jane in Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) fell in love with Mr. Rochester. But there was a problem. Her wealthy lover was still married to a mentally ill women who lived in an upper room in his mansion. Rochester invited Jane to move into his home and live as his mistress. Though her heart screamed “Yes”, she turned him down. She explained: “I will keep the law given by God. I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad—as I am now. Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against the law’s [inflexibility].” Jane turned from her deceptive desires and turned toward God’s truth.

Jane’s choice provides a powerful picture of cleaving. Cleaving  is a promise to love and serve your partner whether he becomes bitter or fat or unemployed or argumentative or boring or inattentive or jealous or selfish or ugly or lazy or insensitive or greedy or sickly. You have promised before God and friends to love your deeply flawed mate for life.
 

Whenever my wife stumbles, I feel no great desire to compose a love poem to her! It is my commitment, not some romantic feelings, that prods me to keep loving her even when I have negative feelings toward her. May God give me the grace and the strength to do just that.