Discovering Our Identity, Part 2

“For me to live is Christ”

When we become Christians our identity has an extreme makeover. “Christ is not an accessory to our identity, as if one were choosing an option for a car. He takes over identity so that everything else becomes an accessory.”  When we become Christians, Jesus does not become another spoke on the wheel of our lives. He is the hub who wants to hold the pieces of our life together. All these spokes—family and friends, health and hobbies, work and leisure, find their unity and purpose through Jesus.

When Christians put God in charge of their identity, they are allowing him to inform and transform their identity. Unfortunately, “we have reduced God to our helper, bowing to our agenda. A God to help us when we are stuck or weak. . . . We don’t abandon ourselves to God for his purposes, but we want him to bless our purposes. This Jesus is not the Lord of our lives; he is the servant of our desires.”

What is the purpose for your life? God informed Jeremiah that his identity was set before he was born:

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart;

I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. (Jer.1:5)

But it isn’t just Christian leaders whose identity precedes  birth: “We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Eph.2:10) We all have unique work that God has assigned before the world was created. Finding this work is a big part of discovering our identity.

When lesbian professor Rosario Butterfield gave her life to Christ, her friends thought she “was loony to the core.” So why did she abandon her lesbian worldview that she believed was “open, welcoming, and inclusive for one that believes in Original Sin, values the law of God, seeks conversion into a born-again experience, believes in the truth of God’s word as found in the Bible, claims exclusivity of Christ for salvation?” Only one reason: “Because Jesus is the real and risen Lord and because he claimed me for himself.”

When Rosario was confused about who she was, she turned to prayer: “I did not know what to do, so I prayed the Way I had heard my Pastor pray. He often would call upon the Lord to teach this or that. So I prayed that the Lord would help me to see my life from his point of view.”

Prayer is where all of us should begin if we want God’s view of our identity, if we want to understand the purpose for which he created us. I may not know who I am but God does! That is why I must start with him.

Discovering Our Identity, Part 1

Defining Identity 

As a young boy I fantasized about being a cowboy who brought justice to the wild frontier. I owned a cowboy hat and boots, a six shooter and its holster, a bandanna for my neck, and chaps to protect me when I rode my imaginary horse. I even took to the stage one summer on a family vacation. I wore my cowboy outfit while I whistled “Home on the Range” for the kids’ talent show. I won first place in my age group (6 years old?), receiving a cup and five dollars! Now I was a rich cowboy!

Questions of identity surface throughout our lives. Who is Bernie Schock? Who are you? When my cowboy identity had faded into the sunset, it was replaced by other dreams. In my teen years I hoped to become a professional baseball player; a few years later a doctor; next I wanted to be a dairyman like my dad; during my seminary days I tried out the idea of being a foreign missionary; and on and on.

Identity has been defined “as that stable core of defining factors in which a voice says, “This is the real me.” But the “real me” is difficult to define because there are so many factors that make up our identity:

• Our physical characteristics: gender, size, race, talents, tendencies toward shyness or aggressiveness. (Look at the body of an elite athlete like Lebron James. His childhood dreams of becoming a professional athlete had a basis in reality!)
• Our histories: I am the son of the respected Al Schock. Most people would treat me differently if I was the son of a serial murderer. Our families have a great impact on our opportunities, education, trauma, failures, successes. Furthermore, the friends we choose, the people we work with or serve, the famous people we try to emulate, all have a weighty impact on who we become.
• Our commitments: to a location; to investments of interest, time and money. I am a Midwest boy who loves open spaces and seasonal changes. When we lived in Florida for two years and I lost my job, we prayed: “Lord, we are willing to go anywhere. But we would sure prefer to return to our northern roots.”

The quest for identity is always a fluid matter. Today I am  no longer the parents of pre-adult children. And as I see my identity as a professor shrinking, I wonder: Who I will be in my retirement?

Why is a study of identity important? Each of us was created by God for special purposes, for the good works which he prepared in advance for us to do. (Eph.2:10) My lifelong challenge is to discover those purposes so that I can be faithful to my Creator. Some of the greatest joys in life come to those who have discovered and are becoming the person God created them to be.

Redeeming the Time, Part 8

Resting in God

A number of years ago an aging pastor boasted to me that he still outworked his staff. Ouch! I should have asked: “So what?” Why was this pastor driven to do so much? I don’t know for sure, but often our work is driven by frenzied hearts. We are worried about some perceived threat and we quickly devise plans that don’t include God. And when those plans don’t work out, we hastily devise new ones.

 

Our anxiety is often rooted in an inability to rest in God. The prophet Isaiah rebuked his people for desperately turning to Egypt for protection against the threat of the Assyrians. Isaiah chided them for forming an alliance, but not by my Spirit. He told them that this plan was useless. Instead he explained the true route to deliverance: In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. He proclaimed to the people: Blessed are those who wait for God! (Is.30:15,18) The God who created an infinite universe could be trusted to handle this peril.

So, part of the solution to the frenetic pace of our lives is to learn how to trust a good and faithful God. If you lose your job, don’t rush to an employment counselor. If you are troubled by the growing chill between you and your spouse, don’t run to a lawyer. If your child is struggling in the classroom, don’t charge off to find a tutor. Your first response to any perceived threat, should be to quiet your heart before God, waiting on him, trusting him to work in his way and in his time. We often leap into problems far too quickly, acting before God has given us clear direction on the nature of the problem or the solution.

Alan Fadling confessed that when he is in a hurry, he often forgets to include God in his plans. “When I am most hurried, I run past much that God is trying to show me, give me, lead me into. . . . Taking the unhurried way enables me to be attentive to God’s presence and guidance. I want to learn to live at the pace of grace.”

A few years ago a frazzled friend was struggling in his work as CEO of a small company. He knew he was working too much (70-75 hours each week)as he vainly tried to complete his many tasks. As he began to understand God’s call on his life, he cut 15-20 hours off of that schedule. When I asked him if he was getting his work done, he said “No. But then I wasn’t getting it done before either!” He was becoming liberated from the need to be finished. He was learning to trust God’s work more than his own.

God wants to give you rest by carrying your burdens. Will you let him? Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Do your responsibilities feel easy and light? If not, ask God to teach you how to give them over to him, to wait on him, to rest in him.

Redeeminng the Time, Part 7

Problems in Digital Paradise

Consider our daffy digital world:

• We are irritated if our text isn’t answered within a few minutes—“Where are you?!”
• We feel naked without our phones.
• We check our devices first thing in the morning and last thing at night. 
• We try to keep up with the happenings of our 1000 “close” friends on Facebook. (Do I really want to see every photo you snap?)
• One survey found that the average American checks his e-mail just under 200 times per day!

What has happened? An invention that started out as a marvelous tool to communicate with family and friends, has become something that many of us are addicted to: “Cell phones and heaping e-mail leave us even more frenetic, harried, and feeling out of control than our ancestors. We seem not so much to have “saved” time as to have sped it up.”

Like most of us, Nicholas Carr found the digital experience exhilarating. He was captivated by the speed of the Internet, the search engines, the sound, the videos, everything. But then, he recalls, “the serpent of doubt slithered into my info-paradise.” Maybe the net wasn’t so great. He discovered that his habits were changing, morphing to accommodate a digital way of life. His ability to pay attention was declining. “At first I had figured that the problem was a symptom of middle-age mind rot. But my brain, I realized, wasn’t just drifting. It was hungry. It was demanding to be fed the way the net did it – and the more it was fed, the hungrier it became.”

The recent death of comedian George Carlin caused me to search YouTube for some of his routines. Soon I had spent over an hour listening to the good, the bad, and the vulgar humor of Mr. Carlin. If that type of activity became a regular pattern, it could squeeze out time with God, time with family and friends. I don’t want to become a “compulsive nimbler of info-snacks” which fill me up and take the place of the meat I need to grow up in the faith.

So what can we addicts do? When Alan Fadling’s family decided to turn off their devices while they spent an evening playing Catchphrase, he felt resistance rising in himself: “I really have important things I should be doing.” Then he came to his senses: “What was more important than unhurried time spent enjoying my bride and my three teenage sons?”

What do we really need a phone for? When Jeff Haanen answered that question he made changes that changed his life. As I began deleting apps and setting new boundaries, I found myself catching an appealing vision of a better—and slower—life. And my phone once again became just a tool, to be used like all good things given by God. (James 1:17)

Consider other boundaries with? Can you go an hour without checking your inbox? Can you delay a response to a text because you are engaged in another activity? Can you read your Bible in the morning before you check overnight messages? Can you trash someone’s appeal to watch a video? We all receive e-mails that claim: “I don’t normally forward messages, but you have to watch this.” I now seldom open those messages. The most effective way to beat an addiction is to starve it.

Redeeming the Time, Part 6

Develop a “Stop-doing” List

Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, advises people to not only keep a “to do” list but also a “stop doing” list. All of us need to trim the fat from our lives so that we can press on in our walk with God. Here is some of my fat:

·         T.V. Most of us would not complain about our busyness if we simply sliced our T.V. usage. In a recent survey, American households had the T.V. on for nearly 5 hours each day! If that commitment lasts throughout a person’s life, he will spend 9 years of his life watching T.V.! Being a sports junkie, I can be as easily entertained by a televised college baseball game as by the World Series. Therefore, I must be selective on what and how I watch. If I want to watch a Twins baseball game, I start watching in the later innings so I won’t spend 3 hours watching the game.

• Kids’ activities. At some point I realized that I wouldn’t be arrested for missing one of my son’s ballgames! At times, there were more important tasks for me—spending time with one of his siblings, participating in a prayer group, helping a friend, exercising my body.
• Shopping. Driving home, I feel the pull to stop at Menard’s even though I don’t really need anything. I am trying to avoid shopping unless I have a specific need. 
• Job. The McGuffey Readers--which taught millions of 19^th century children how to read--claimed that “One doer is worth 100 dreamers.” The residue of this attitude makes it hard for many Americans to relax, slow down, or even go on vacations. One survey found that over 50% of employees do not use all of their earned vacation time. How can I prevent my job from dominating my life? Take extra time off between jobs. Ask for more vacation—even if it must be unpaid. Don’t volunteer for overtime. Change jobs. Some professions are too demanding. If you have a job that prevents you from living the way God wants you to live, it may be time to find a new job!
• Ministry Opportunities. John was my best friend in seminary. But four or five years after graduation, he became involved with a woman he was counseling. He divorced his wife, left the ministry and married this other woman. What happened? Though I don't know the full story, I suspect a significant part of the tragedy was caused by burnout—John was simply over committed. He was teaching full time at a Christian university; he was one of the pastors for a church plant; he was writing books and speaking to promote his books; and he was involved with some small scale farming. John had few reserves to fight the daily war against temptation.

Like our Teacher, we should not walk through every open door, nor say “Yes” to every good opportunity, nor do every good deed that needs doing. If you do, you may lose it all.

Redeeming the Time, Part 5

The Time Crunch & Our Children

A recent cartoon  pictured two young girls chatting and clutching personal planners while they were waiting for the school bus. One of them suggested: "Okay, I’ll move ballet back an hour, reschedule gymnastics, and cancel piano. You shift your violin lesson to Thursday and skip piano. That gives us from 3:15-3:45 on Wednesday the 16^th to play.”

While chuckling over that cartoon I was reminded that I once calculated my boys’ obligations to their soccer teams. All three of them participated on a city league team in the spring and again in the  fall. Two of them played on a traveling team. Adding up all the practices and games, those commitments totaled over 100 entries on our family calendar! And our boys competed in other sports and had other commitments. No wonder author and educator Marie Winn has said that many children today look like tired businessmen!

We parents must admit blame for allowing our kids to become overscheduled. We fill their lives to overflowing because we fear that we might be depriving them of something important: “Even though my son is playing tennis and soccer, I better sign him up for basketball. Who knows? He might be the next Steph Curry!”

But what do our children really need to grow up and become mature followers of Jesus?

Kids need to learn how to . . .

·         care for others

·         carry responsibility

·         manage money

·         interpret their culture

·         build a relationship with God

 

. . . and much more.

So if your daughter is playing on the school’s volleyball team, will her life be stunted if she doesn’t join the dance team also? And for that matter, how will adding dance help her prepare for adult life?

A recent poll by KidsHealth found that over 40% of kids feel stressed most or all of the time because they have “too much to do.” Let your children be children. Give them time to play with their stuffed animals. To draw a picture. To hang out with a friend. It is very important that children learn how to be alone, to be quiet so they have time to rest, reflect, read. Your kids need a Guide for Life, not a Recreation Director!

 

Redeeming the Time, Part 4

Hearing God’s Voice

Cathy and I recently returned from a vacation with our kids and grandkids. Wow! All day long we were engulfed by their clatter and their chatter, their cries and their sighs. How do parents of young children find any time to hear God speak?

Jesus made quiet time with his Father a priority. After a strenuous day of ministry that lasted into the night, very early the next morning, while it was still dark, he left the house and went to a solitary place to pray. Jesus knew what was coming. He knew that the daily racket of people’s needs could muffle the voice of His Father. So he began his day early, quietly speaking to his Father.

Much of the noise is generated by our fretful minds. . . “I’ve got to get the car in for new tires." "I haven’t done my taxes yet." "I haven’t visited Mom in over a week." "Our water heater is on its last leg." "I’ve got to get a doctor to look at my aching shoulder." "My lawn needs mowing." "I need to get to the gym." "I haven’t started my Book Club book." "The bathroom faucet is leaking." "I’ve got to do something about those ancient curtains in the living room.” As John Ortberg has written: “Hurry is not just a disordered schedule. Hurry is a disordered heart.”

We will never hear God speak until we make time to come into his presence and allow Him to calm and order our own anxious hearts: Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything . . . let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4)

How can we find time to be alone with God? As a senior citizen, it isn’t difficult for me to find quiet time in my daily schedule. But if you struggle to find time for God, look carefully at your habit patterns. Could you get up 15 minutes earlier? Could you put off checking your e-mail until you have had some time to read your Bible? Could you use your break time at work for a few minutes of prayer? Could you find one time each week to have a more in-depth time with God? If you want to hear God’s voice you MUST reduce the noise. If the decibels are not turned down, trying to hear God’s voice is like trying to converse with a friend at a very loud rock concert.

Learning to discern God’s voice takes time and diligence. A five minute daily devotional may be the place to start, but you shouldn't end there. How well would you know your mate’s desires if you only spent five minutes a day communicating?! As with a marriage, so it is with God—there must be extended times of quiet interaction to be able to hear His voice. Would you plan to take some extra time this week to be alone with your Father? He is waiting to talk with you.