"Perfect Kids, Part 1"

Over ten years ago, I wrote:

Though I have been a Christian for over 20 years, I must confess that there are stubborn sins that tenaciously hang on despite laboring with God to remove them. A few of my many short-comings include:

· My compliments are about as frequent as July snow.
· I forget appointments as I am driving to them!
· I make suggestions sound like com­mands.
· I groundlessly justify myself when I should simply apologize.


I won't bore you or embarrass you with a total list of my defects, but you get the point. Am I discouraged by my failings? At times. But normally my flaws don’t crush me because I know that imperfection is a part of being human. As the saying goes, no one is perfect.

So with this insight into human nature, what kind of expec­tations do I have of my three teenage boys? I expect them to ALWAYS remember my instructions. I expect them to speak gracious­ly in ALL circumstances to their brothers. I expect them to ALWAYS be attentive when I speak to them. I expect them NEVER to use their fists to settle an argument. I expect them to NEVER make fun of another child. I expect them to be ALWAYS respectful of me as their father. I expect them to NEVER become angry during a family discussion. And when they fail to meet these "reasona­ble" standards, I bellow at their infirmities: "I am sick and
tired of you talking to your brother like that. Cut it out!"

Before Cathy and I had children, we read several books about parenting. It didn't sound too difficult--we would be perfect parents; our kids would be perfect children. Right? Wrong! Our expectations crashed into reality. And after nearly 2 decades of parenting, we still frequently LOWER our expectations of our boys. They won't always be respectful. They won't always be gracious. They won't always remember their responsibilities. As I hope others will be patient with my failings, I also need to be patient with my children’s failings.