Perfect Kids, Part 2

Near the end of Jesus’ ministry two of his disciples came to him with an urgent request. But before they made their request they wanted Jesus to pledge that he would grant their request. Now real­ly--how gullible did they think he was?! How would you respond if your child said: "I have something I desperately want. But before I make my request, you have to promise to give it to me." You would laugh into next year. Even so, Jesus asked them what they wanted: “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

Now put yourself in Jesus’ shoes--you have been with these disciples for 2-3 years, coaching, cajoling, correcting, caring for them. These are the men you chose to carry your eternal message to the ends of the earth. And this childish request came only a few days after Jesus caught the Twelve arguing about who was the greatest among them. Ugh! My response would have been: “You want, what?! Have you learned nothing you bumbling idiots?! How many times have I told you that it is servants who are the greatest in God’s kingdom?!”

But this wasn't Jesus' method. He quietly gathered them around him, gently explaining, again, that this was not how things would be. Though their attitudes were normal among worldly people, he softly and simply reproached them: “Not so with you.” Unfortunately, there is little of this grace in many Christian homes. These parents bark out correction like a hard-nosed CEO: "Cut that out!" "Stop that!" "Don't you ever say that again!” "Can't you ever do anything right?"

Though we obviously can’t abandon standards, we must periodically review those standards. Is it reasonable for

· a 5 year-old to keep his room as spotless as an adult's?
· siblings to always remember to be quiet while the baby sleeps?
· a teen to be home before his curfew 100% of the time?
· a child to never whine about her chores?

Maturity is a slow, snail-like process that needs nurturing.

Faltering kids need gracious and consistent correction. When your exhausted toddler refuses to pick up his toys he may need your help more than he needs a spanking. When a 5 year-old hits his sister because she won’t share her treat, it may be sufficient to remind him that he can’t treat his sister that way. When your angry teen shouts, "You never let me do anything!", the best response may be: "Please change your tone of voice so we can talk about this calmly."

Imperfection is a part of being human. But our response to these imperfections will help or hinder our kids’ progress toward maturity.