Gardening the Soul: Habitual Drinkers

As young Christians, Cathy and I were challenged to commit a realistic amount of time to drink daily from God's word—we settled on five minutes. As we were developing our habit, there were many nights we fell into bed exhausted, turned out the lights, and one of us would ask: "Have you had your five minutes today?" If one or both of us had not, the lights would come back on, and we would spend some time communing with God. I am thankful our pledge was small. If our promise had been 25-30 minutes of time with God, the bedtime question—“Have you had your five minutes?"--would  have never been asked, and the budding habit would have dropped to the ground without bearing fruit.

I am not suggesting that five minutes of Bible reading will adequately water a life anymore than morning dew will sustain a garden. When Isaiah proclaims that God's feast can be enjoyed by those who have no money, he wasn't implying that it has no cost. He asks: Why spend your labor on what is not bread? Our labor is the admission fee to this feast. Every summer I spend countless hours dragging hoses all over my yard watering bushes, trees, and gardens. Could the watering of my life require any less effort? The five minutes was a daily minimum designed to establish a habit. I won't regularly hear God's voice unless I discipline myself to diligently study his word--meditatively, repeatedly, prayerfully. As I study a section of the Bible, I read it several days in a row. I listen to the same section on my CD player while driving in the car. I listen to it on my Bible Ap while I walk. The simple vow that Cathy and I made forty years ago has grown into a steady, all life rain for our souls.

Not long ago I received the student evaluations for my Introduction to the Bible class. One question asked: "What did you appreciate most about the course?" Several students reported that the highlight was the assigned reading in the Bible. At first I was disappointed -- "What about my great lectures? What about my mature, Christian model? What about my scholarship?" But as I thought further, I was elated. My highest hope for students is to connect them to God through his word. It is God's word that causes lives to bud and flourish. It is God's word that is an imperishable seed, perennially sprouting new growth. It is God's word that is more precious than gold or silver. It is God's word that carries divine power to demolish strongholds. It is God's word that will cause us to be thoroughly equipped for every good work. It is God's word that can slice through the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” And I want my students to be most impressed with my lectures?! "No! No! No!" A thousand times "No!"

Gardening the Soul: Watering With God's Word

Isaiah's repeated calls to come  and to listen to God imply a recurrent showering of our lives with God's truth. This past year my state has endured an extended drought that has left the ground rock-hard.  When a thunderstorm recently dumped a quick, heavy rain, that hardness prevented much of the water from being absorbed. The plants would have benefited more from a slow, all-day soaker. Similarly, it is the slow, steady soaking of God's word that most effectively waters my life. If I go for long periods of time without drinking from God's word, I become increasingly hardened to his voice. Thus Isaiah warned: Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. (v.6)

A friend of author Philip Yancey wanted to know if God would forgive him if he dissolved his fifteen-year marriage that had produced three children and no crushing problems. He wanted to ditch his wife and pursue his lover. Yancey didn't answer the question immediately, afraid that a "Yes" answer would only strengthen his friend's resolve to end his marriage. As Yancey thought and prayed, he finally answered:

Can God forgive you? Of course. You know the Bible. . . . [But] what we have to go through to commit sin distances us from God—we change in the very act of rebellion—and there is no guarantee we will ever come back. You ask me about forgiveness now, but will you even want it later, especially if it involves repentance?

Sin packs the ground of our hearts, forming a hard pan between God and us. The longer our rebellion, the thicker that barrier becomes. Yancey's friend steeled his heart toward God and abandoned his family. As yet, there has been no evidence of any softening toward God. Only land that drinks in the rain often falling on it . . . receives the blessing of God. (Heb.6:7) It is the habit of drinking we must establish.

Gardening the Soul: Listening to God

Isaiah's invitation to come to God's feast has a catch--we  must come with open ears:  Listen, listen to me, . . . Give ear . . . hear me . . . God sounds like a frustrated parent.

"Listen up!"
"You're not listening to me."
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Look at me while I am talking to you."
"We better go to the doctor and have your hearing checked!"

I tell my child, "You're not listening to me." He complains that he did, perfectly repeating my words. But I'm not satisfied because I know he hasn't really grasped the meaning of my words. This was the problem in Isaiah's day and why he literally chided them: in your hearing, hear! As God's child I can read my Bible daily. I can gain mountains of Biblical knowledge. I can memorize long sections of God's word. But I may still be deaf to God's true message.

Katie Cocker, in the Lee Smith novel, The Devil's Dream, was a country singer who married her capable but crooked manager. Wayne was a violent drunkard whose all-consuming passion was to turn Katie into a star by any means. Soon after Wayne was arrested for his money-raising schemes, Katie went to the hospital to recover from nervous exhaustion. As she laid in bed, she could see more clearly what sort of man she had married:

I had to admit, in my heart, that I had known, someplace deep down where I was not admitting it, that he was up to no good. I knew he was breaking the law. I reckon I had come to think Wayne was above the law, or beyond it some way. But I also knew better. You always know everything, don't you? You won't let yourself know you know it, a lot of times you can't let yourself know it, because you can't stand to know what you know.

The fame and the fortune caused Katie to shut her ears to the rumblings of her husband's corrupt life. She muffled her conscience so that it wouldn’t threaten her "good" life. Don’t we treat God this way? We banish any serious thought about the real-life meaning and application of his Truth because we want to cling to our fumbling, though familiar, life. Ignorance is bliss . . . for a while.

Gardening the Soul: A Fruitful Life

No one begins life thinking: "I want to make a mess out of my life." But many end up with barren lives because they don't know or follow God's way of producing fruit:

As the rain and snow come down from heaven,

  and do not return to it without watering the earth

   and making it bud and flourish, . . .

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

  it will not return to me empty,

  but will accomplish what I desire

  and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.  (55:10,11)                                         

There is an endless cycle. Water falls as rain or snow, it is soaked up by the ground, absorbed by plants, transpires into the atmosphere, and  descends, again, as moisture. This cycle has its intended impact, causing the earth to bud and flourish. This prospering of the earth is a picture for us: As the rain . . . so is my word. God showers the earth with his word. But before cycling back to God, he claims: It will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. It is God's word that produces fruitful lives.

But Dr. Larry Crabb warns that many Christians have radically changed their view of how people bud and flourish. Instead of each person being a "fallen soul hungry for God," each is a "psychological self capable of being damaged.” The former seeks healing through an intimate bond with Christ and his word. The latter seeks healing by unraveling the complex dynamics of the soul—something that often requires professional help. Dr. Elizabeth Loftus explains the goal of most modern therapy:

  The central question—“Who am I?"—has been reduced by modern psychotherapy to "how did I get this way?" To understand who we are and why we are the way we are, many therapists encourage us to go back to our childhoods and find out what happened to us there. If we are in pain, we are told there must be a cause; if we cannot locate the cause, we have not looked deep enough. And on goes the search to find the truth of our lives in the memories we have and the memories we have lost.

A woman I know has spent years rummaging in the murky memories of her adolescence trying to recall the details of suspected sexual abuse. Is all of this digging wise?

Though the past can certainly enlighten the present, the dominant view of the Bible is that healing occurs when we develop a love for God through his word. Have you felt rejected by an absent father? Jesus promised: I will never fail you or forsake you. (Heb.13:5) Have you been ridiculed for a physical flaw? God's word informs you that man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. (I Sam.16:7) Were your needs ignored after your parents' disturbing divorce? Jesus encourages you that your heavenly Father knows what you need before you ask him. (Mt.6:8) As Isaiah promised, watering our lives with God's word will unfailingly produce a fruitful life.

Gardening the Soul: Communing with the Host of the Party

I am holding in my hands my invitation to this phenomenal feast (Is.55). But as I read my invite more carefully, I am stunned! I am not directed to a distant corner of the banquet hall where I need binoculars to see the head table. I am ushered to the front where I can commune with the Host of the party: "listen to me. . . come to me. . . hear me.”  As J.I. Packer reminds us, "God sends His word to us in the character of both information and invitation. It comes to woo us as well as to instruct us."

Thus, whenever I accept God's invitation to commune with Him through his word, I am not coming to a book that is dated and dusty. I find the life-nourishing words of the living God speaking to me. A.W. Tozer explains: "A loving Personality dominates the Bible, walking among the trees of the garden and breathing fragrance over every scene. Always a living Person is present, speaking, pleading, loving, working, and manifesting Himself whenever and wherever His people have the receptivity necessary to receive the manifestation."

I recently visited a Christian college classroom that was studying the gospels. After some small group discussion, the professor concluded with a lecture. But he never opened his Bible. He never quoted the Bible. Though he cited a few Biblical references, he spent most of his time reading quotes from other sources. Though there is a critical role for Christian books (I hope someone reads my books!), Christian education often leans too heavily on these books. These books can never be a substitute for teaching students how to meet with God through his word. We must all develop the ability to draw water for ourselves,  drinking deeply from God’s unlimited well.

Is there an emptiness in your busyness? Do you frequently experience an aching loneliness even though your days are filled with stimulating people and meaningful work? Then shut this book. Find a quiet place. Take your Bible and a notebook—read, listen, pray, ask, write, pray, ask, write, read, listen, pray. Ask God to pour his living water into your parched soul.

Gardening the Soul: Free Water

Wall Drug Store in Wall, South Dakota has become a “must-stop” for many western family vacations. The store built its business by offering free ice water to scorched sightseers. (Did other establishments charge for it?!) God also offers free water:

Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters;
and you, who have no money, come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk, without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy.
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live. (55:1-3)

I am repeatedly invited to come, to drink from these free waters. These waters expand into a banquet—the richest of fare. A number of years ago while living in Tampa we were invited to a lavish party to use up a budget surplus at one of the city's country clubs. What a feast! There were bowls of fresh fruits—cantaloupe, strawberries, pineapple; freshly baked breads and muffins; bowls of diverse salads—a tangy potato salad, an exquisite crab salad; plates loaded with crisp, southern fried chicken; a rack of medium-rare prime rib; numerous vegetables: steamed broccoli, honey-glazed carrots, etc. But the prize for my palate was the seafood: mounds of boiled shrimp, steamed crabs, broiled lobster tails, fried grouper. As a guest it was all free, with only one limit—the size of my stomach! But God calls us to come to an even more extravagant feast: eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. This “soul food” is eternally more delectable than an all-you-can-eat gourmet buffet. It alone will quench my deepest thirsts.

Isaiah's invitation is sent to all you who are thirsty. Though all human seedlings are thirsty, not all recognize their thirst. A few years ago I was explaining the course requirements to the students in Intro to the Bible when one asked: "Why do I need to study the Bible? I figure that on a scale of one to ten, my life rates about a six or a seven. Why do I need this book and this class?” What a challenge! I was requiring these students to sacrifice their Saturday mornings for class, asking them to read large sections of the Bible and other books, assigning a lengthy research project. But if I couldn't explain the relevance of this work, I would have lost one student, and possibly, many more.

I screamed a silent "Help!" toward heaven to answer my student's sincere question. God brought this answer to my mind: "During the early years of my marriage I thought I was a pretty good husband. If I had graded our marriage I would have given it about a "B"—that was averaging my "A" and Cathy's "C"! Each time we had a conflict, Cathy ended up tearfully confessing her faults. I graciously accepted her apologies and promised to pray for her. But during my second year in seminary, I enrolled in a course on Biblical family life. And as I was exposed to God's perspective on marriage, I saw that it was my life that was parched: "Lord, I am the one who needs the most help. Change me." I explained to my student that apart from God’s word we can be deceived. But when we drink regularly from God’s word, it shows  who we are and who we can become. Drink up!

Gardening the Soul: Water for the Garden

Life-Nourishing Water

A couple of summers ago I stopped by a parking-lot greenhouse to select a few more annuals to fill out our garden. It was early Monday morning and dour-faced workers were scurrying around in a frenzy—whoever was responsible for the greenhouse over the blistering weekend, had failed to water the seedlings. There were thousands of stressed seedlings, sadly hanging their heads. The staff had begun the joyless task of throwing out tray after tray of scorched seedlings.

The life and productivity of every living plant is dependent upon water. Though newly sprouted seedlings and one hundred year-old oak trees have different needs for water, each would die without water. Knowing my plants' need for water and the uncertainty of timely rains in South Dakota, I spend considerable time analyzing the moisture in the soil, listening to weather reports, eyeing the sky, praying for rain, checking my rain gauge, and watering. During the growing season our yard is frequently criss-crossed with hoses. I recall only once asking God to halt excessive rains. He did—and it didn't rain measurably for the next three months. (A South Dakota native should know better!) For this plains’ gardener, a moderate, all-day rain makes me giddy!

The ancient Israelites—who also lived in a rain-marginal climate, understood the blessing of ample rain. And they used the watering of the land as a metaphor for God's watering of their lives:

Let my teaching fall like rain,
and my words descend like dew,
like showers on new grass,
like abundant rain on tender plants. (Deut.32:2)

When summer rain arrives after a dry period, the tender grasses and plants lap it greedily. Within hours they are greener, taller, livelier. It is the same for me. When I lap up God's teaching and his words, this tender plant shoots up as well.

Over the next several blogs I will explore the theme of how God waters our lives so that even when we live in a sun-scorched land, we will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. (Is.58:11)

Joseph's Forgiveness, Final Thoughts

When Joseph revealed himself to his brothers, he agonized over their burden of guilt: Do not be distressed and do not be angry for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. Who should have been distressed and angry?! Joseph. But Joseph’s deepest desire toward  his brothers was not for  revenge, but for their reconciliation with God. His thrice-repeated claim that God was working for good was designed to turn his brothers’ hearts toward a gracious God.

How can an abused set aside his own pain and focus on his abuser’s pain? When he recognizes that his abuser is still highly valued by God: “He is a man for whom Christ died. No one for whom Christ died can be to me an enemy, an object of hate or scorn.” In fact, Jesus “valued each person more highly than he valued his own life!” Every person can become a saint (think of the murderer named Paul!) And my forgiveness may be this person’s only link to God.

Some injured people only crack the door on forgiveness: “I’ll forgive this time, but don’t let it happen again!” But our abusers will hurt us again. To become skilled at forgiving we must give up our demand for perfect behavior, as we understand that human beings are complicated, filled with many contradictions. When Jesus told the disciples that they would have to forgive seventy times seven, he picked a large number because he didn’t want them to become sin accountants. If we are counting it isn’t forgiveness.

Forgiving “opens the window of opportunity.... [It] always opens the future to better possibilities.” Look at all of the good that Joseph’s forgiveness ushered in: Dad was re-united with his favorite son; the whole family was reconciled; the brothers were able to clear away the rubble of their past; the Egyptians saw the model of what the true God can produce in people’s lives. And none of those marvelous things would have happened if Joseph had pursued revenge.

Forgiving Those Who Hurt Us, Part 8

The Journey of Forgiveness

John and Diane were close friends of ours who shared numerous family vacations with us when our kids were young. Though we saw tension in their marriage we didn’t think it was anything fatal and were shocked when John moved out of his home and eventually asked for a divorce. He had become involved with another woman and eventually married her.

Some years later we were with Diane for a few days and we asked her what she had learned about forgiveness. She explained that she had had to learn how to forgive John again and again and again. When she was lonely, she had to forgive him for deserting her. When she struggled financially, she had to forgive him for not providing security for her. When they struggled with issues related to their children, she had to forgive him for destroying the family unity.

Diane learned what Joseph learned: forgiveness is not a once-for-all-time event. It is a state which must be maintained. When Joseph’s brothers came trembling to him when their dad died, fearful that Joseph’s forgiveness had been a sham to please Dad, Joseph repeated his enduring perspective: God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Gen.50:20). Every time Joseph was tempted to become bitter for his lost years or his lost family life or his lost innocence, he probably repeated to himself: God intended it for good, to save many lives. God intended it for good, to save many lives. God intended it for good, to save many lives.

Therefore, to maintain our forgiveness we must be very careful how we view the past. David Augsburger explains: “You may recall the hurt but you may not relive it. No reviewing, no rehashing of the old hurt, no going back to sit on the old gravestones where past grievances lie buried.” There is no indication that Joseph ever relived the day he was thrown into the pit or the day he was sold as a slave or the day he was thrown into the dungeon. Instead, he diligently carried out his God-given tasks.

Forgiveness, especially for life’s deepest hurts, is “a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey.” May God give you the grace to forgive “seventy times seven.”

Forgiving Those Who Hurt Us, Part 7

Forgiveness Removes the Poison

I have a friend who has lived an unstable, alcohol-dependent life for the past forty years. During one of our conversations, my slightly drunk friend became riled when the subject of his dad came up. He yelled: “And when I was in 8th grade he bought me right-handed golf clubs!” My left-handed friend has let that bitter memory drip poison into his life for over 40 years! Does time heal wounds? Only when it is combined with forgiveness.

How many of you would willingly let the person who has hurt you do it again? Would Joseph have given his brothers permission to throw him in a pit, threaten to kill him, and sell him again into slavery? Heaven forbid! But my friend is letting his father continue to abuse him in his memories. If he doesn’t learn how to forgive, his dad will keep abusing him, even after Dad is dead!

Reliving painful memories has corroded my friend’s strength for life's daily challenges. As Jesus said, “Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Joseph certainly forgave his brothers early in his trials. Otherwise, the rot of unforgiveness would have sapped his energy for serving Potiphar, the prison warden, and Pharaoh.

The longer we delay forgiving the sinner, the more entrenched the hurt becomes: “It is wiser to begin working toward forgiveness before the sting has begun to swell. Before the molehill mushrooms into a mountain. Before bitterness sets in like an infection.” If I have a splinter in my toe, I don't relish digging it out. But it is not nearly as horrific as leaving it until gangrene sets in and I have to amputate my toe!

Unforgiveness, then, is simply too costly to me: “It is cheaper to pardon than to resent. The high cost of anger, the extravagant expense of hatred, and the unreasonable interest on grudges make resentment out of the question!”

Forgiving Those Who Hurt Us, Part 6

Joseph's Compassion

When Joseph’s brothers came before him with a request to buy grain, he charged: You are spies! You have come to see where our land is unprotected! He informed them that the only way they could prove their innocence was for one of them to stay in prison while the others returned home to bring back their only other brother, Benjamin.

The brothers’ hearts sank. Their father, Jacob, would never permit such a risky trip for his now-favored Benjamin. Standing before Joseph (and not knowing that he knew their language) they agonized: Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that’s why this distress has come upon us. When Joseph heard this, he turned away from them and wept. Why? He felt compassion for them. He saw the agony and guilt that was still strangling their hearts, 20 years after their evil deed!

We often forget about the agony of the guilty. In South Africa during Apartheid, there were many violent deeds committed. Later when Apartheid ended and formal reconciliation of the longtime enemies began, one of the perpetrators of those horrific deeds was drowning in guilt: “They can give me amnesty a thousand times. Even if God and everyone else forgives me a thousand times—I have to live with this hell. The problem is in my head, my conscience. There’s only one way to be free of it. Blow my own brains out. Because that’s where my hell is.” When Joseph saw the hell his brothers were living in, he promised to help them: I will provide for you because five years of famine are still to come. His compassion lead to kindness.

How can compassion transform our relationships? A wife who is struggling with her husband's neglect of their children, can release her anger by remembering that he had an absent father. A husband who resents the irritability of his wife can forgive when he remembers that she is going through menopause. A worker can forgive his stingy boss when she remembers that he doesn’t know the Good Shepherd.

Compassion enables us to lay the past to rest. (Isn’t this what we desperately want?!) When I am stuck in unforgiveness, I am focusing on what has been done to me; on my pain, my health, my welfare. But compassion shifts my eyes from my own pain to my brother’s needs: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Forgiving Those Who Hurt Us, Part 5

“Defining Forgiveness”

The primary New Testament word for forgiveness means literally to “release” or “let go”. When Joseph relinquished vengeance toward his brothers, he never picked it up again. In fact, it was his brothers who couldn't let it go. When their father Jacob died years later, they anxiously asked themselves: What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back or all the wrongs we did to him? They were afraid that Joseph had been plotting revenge, only waiting for Dad’s death. But Joseph still would not condemn them for the sludge of the past, only speaking his enduring conviction that God intended it for good... the saving of many lives. And when they offered themselves as his slaves, Joseph turned them down and graciously promised to care for them in the years to come: Don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. His genuine forgiveness demanded no apologies, no reformation, no restitution. Wow!

The ancient Greeks did not praise forgiveness. They believed forgiveness was appropriate if actions were done primarily through ignorance. But for evil deeds, they thought revenge was the appropriate response. And revenge was sweetest if done by the hands of the injured.

Why didn't Joseph get even with his brothers? He believed in a different sort of justice. When his brothers feared retaliation, he asked: Am I in the place of God? When he forgave, he was releasing his brothers to the True Judge, The He-Never-Errs-In-His-Judging Judge who will give to each person what is due him for things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (II Cor.5:10)

Jay Adams has written that when I forgive, I am making three promises:

I will not bring the matter up to you.
I will not bring the matter up to others.
I will not bring the matter up to myself.

The last promise—to not bring the matter up to myself—is the basis of the other two. When I don’t hold onto bitter memories, I won’t act out thoughts which hurt you or your name.

Forgiving Those Who Hurt Us, Part 4

“Forgiveness Doesn’t Minimize Sin”

A true injury should not be sanitized: “Oh, that’s no big deal.” Though Joseph came to understand that God had used his brothers’ sin for good, he still believed their intent was to do evil. (Gen.50:20). As C.S. Lewis has written, “Christianity does not want us to reduce by one atom the hatred we feel for cruelty and treachery. We ought to hate them.” Thus the Bible commands us to be angry and do not sin.

Why is the forgiver’s anger important? First, if I let my anger go too quickly, I may lose the drive to protect myself (and others) from being injured again by this person. The games Joseph played with his grain-seeking brothers—jail time for all, jail time for one, their silver secretly returned in their sacks—may have been designed to answer the questions: Have they changed? Should I seek a relationship with them? A wife whose husband has been abusive must forgive him. But it may not be wise to let him back into the house—not all abusers should get their jobs back.

Lewis Smedes explains the gulf between forgiveness and reconciliation:

It takes one person to forgive.
It takes two to be reunited.

We can forgive a person who never says he is sorry.
We cannot be truly reunited unless he is honestly sorry.

Forgiving has no strings attached.
Reunion has several strings attached.

Rightful anger is also important because the sinner needs to see his sin through the eyes of a righteous God. Joseph’s brothers needed God’s forgiveness even more than their brother’s. Though it may have been easier for Joseph to suffer in silence, calling his brother’s actions evil may have helped them face their guilt before a holy God. Otherwise, they may have concluded that no real change was needed.

Though the forgiver’s anger must never turn to vengeance, it doesn’t have to abandon justice. (Admittedly, the line between vengeance and justice is faint and unsteady). Or as Lewis has written, “we may punish, if necessary, but we must not enjoy it.” A forgiving Joseph would have been justified in throwing his wicked brothers in prison.

Forgiveness, reconciliation and justice are separate issues.