Cancel Christmas?!

There is a fascinating discussion taking place among Christians about the choice of several churches to cancel their Christmas Day services. There have been articles in the secular (The Chicago Tribune & The Lexington Herald Leader) and Christian press (Christianity Today's Weblog). The discussion deals directly with the issue of Christian freedom.

Why did these churches cancel the service? One spokeswoman for Willow Creek Church in the Chicago area said: "It's being lifestyle-friendly for people who are just very, very busy." Another Willow Creek staff member explained that they "see it as not having church on Christmas. We see it as decentralizing the church on Christmas -- hundreds of thousands of experiences going on around Christmas trees. The best way to honor the birth of Jesus is for families to have a more personal experience on that day." But if it is good to have "a more personal experience" then "why not decentralize the church every week?" Similarly, Fuller Seminary professor, Robert Johnston, didn't like the emphasis on individual family worship: "What's going on here is a redefinition of Christmas as a time of family celebration rather than as a time of the community faithful celebrating the birth of the Savior. There is a risk that we will lose one more of our Christian rituals, one that's at the heart of our faith."

But is Christmas day worship “at the heart of our faith”? Willow Creek says that they haven’t had a Christmas Day service since the last time Christmas fell on a Sunday -- and that one service was poorly attended. Willow Creek estimated that they would have about 50,000 worshipers at various services the week preceding Christmas. And they produced and distributed a Christmas DVD that people could play in their homes.

What does Scripture say? In Romans 14 Paul wrote: "One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers everyday alike." (v.5) Paul defined this issue as a “disputable matter,” thus giving a Christian the freedom to view certain days as sacred or not. (The Catholic Church does not give its worshipers this kind of freedom. A Catholic priest explained that Christmas day is "a holy day of obligation, which means for the faithful, Mass attendance is required.") All that is required is that each person “should be fully convinced in his own mind” about his viewpoint. God is more concerned that I live my life “to the Lord” -- that I am conscious of Him in all that I do -- than what day I worship.

It seems, then, that we have the freedom to view Christmas Day as a special day of worship or not. Different churches and different individuals within these churches, will come to different conclusions as they look to God for direction. The key is that whatever we do, we do it with our hearts and minds on the incredible condescension that God accomplished in Bethlehem’s stable: “And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord shone around them and they were terrified. But the angel said to them: “Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying: `Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.’”

Leadership, Part 5

How can a person rule others if he can’t rule himself? Paul’s next character trait for a leader is that he must be “self-controlled.” This is a disciplined person. He schedules regular time with God. He watches only the second half of a football game so he can help his wife with housework. He limits his spending so that he won’t have to work overtime to pay for his toys. He is able to decline an offer to golf with his buddies because Saturday morning is the best time to be with his kids.

It is easier to describe what a disciplined person looks like than how he becomes disciplined. Paul told the Corinthians: “I beat my body and I make it my slave so that ... I will not be disqualified for the prize.” The disciplined person is able to set aside immediate gratification for future rewards -- the athlete labors for a trophy, the Christian for “a crown that will last forever.” Paul made his body subservient to a higher purpose -- to preach the gospel. He was motivated by eternity.

• “Lord, I know that fellowship with you is the only way I will develop an eternal perspective.”
• “Lord, the results of this football game will be insignificant in light of eternity. You have called me to love my wife and she needs my help today.”
• “Lord, I know that the toys I am tempted to buy will not make me happy. Only you can bring true joy.”
• “Lord, I know that no one in heaven will ask about my golf handicap. But you will ask about my faithfulness in teaching my children -- who will live forever.”

Leadership, Part 4

Paul’s lengthy list of qualifications for leadership in I Timothy provides a glimpse into the essential traits required of a Christian leader. Though no one (except Jesus) perfectly mirrors these qualifications, they provide an ideal to measure progress toward maturity.

In my last post I talked about temperance as one of the critical traits. Paul also explained that a leader must be “above reproach” and “respectable.” John Stott believes these words point toward a leader’s public performance -- it “has to do with irreproachable observable conduct.” This type of person would “have a good reputation with outsiders.”

I recently read a biography of a well-known Christian coach. Though this man was highly thought of the Christian community, few of his players respected him. They thought that his coaching didn’t match his faith. They said he was heartless with correction. He appeared indifferent when players were hurting. He was callous when cutting players. He didn’t maintain any relationship with former players. Didn’t Jesus say that love is the essential mark of a Christian? Didn’t Paul say that if I don’t have love “I am nothing”? This coach justified his actions by stating that he didn’t want to get too close to his players because he was afraid it would prejudice his difficult choices. That’s like saying I don’t want to get to close to my kids because it my effect my ability to discipline them. This is nonsense. Love certainly effects our judgment -- but usually for the better.

If I want to be a godly leader, it isn’t just my life at church that must be above reproach. I must ask myself: How do I react to a hard foul during pick-up basketball? How do I treat a waitress who can’t get my order right? How do I speak about my political opponents? How do I respond to a grouchy neighbor who complains about the noise my grandkids are making? “Father, I want all of my words and ways to bring honor to you.”

Leadership, Part 3

The Christian Temperance Union was highly intemperate. As C.S. Lewis has rightly pointed out, to be temperate means “going the right length and no further.” The Temperance Union when far beyond the dictates of Scripture, defining temperance as abstaining. The Apostle Paul explained a Christian leader is “not given to drunkenness.” He did not say, “not given to drink.” In fact, he even advised his spiritual son, Timothy, to “use a little wine” for his frequent illnesses.

But temperance is not just about drinking alcohol. We turned down my dad’s offer to pay for satellite T.V. because I would probably become intemperate in watching televised sports -- especially in the winter. Must I abstain from watching televised sports to avoid sin? Not if the watching is kept within proper bounds. A person who is spiritually mature can enjoy God’s good gifts without letting them control him. But if televised sports controls my mind or hinders my studies or distracts me from fathering, then I am being intemperate. A person can be intemperate in innumerable ways: “A man who makes his golf or his [motorcycle] the centre of his life or a woman who devotes all her thought to clothes or bridge or her dog, is being just as “intemperate” as someone who gets drunk every evening.”

Though some addictions -- addicts are created by intemperance -- are judged more leniently by Christians, God isn’t fooled: “[Drunkenness] does not show on the outside so easily; bridge-mania or golf-mania do not make you fall down in the middle of the road. But God isn’t deceived by externals.”

Leadership, Part 2

In I Tim.2 Paul begins a lengthy section on male leadership. (This doesn’t mean that women can’t be leaders. There are simply differences in where and how that leadership is expressed.) But how should this male leadership be exercised? “I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.” (I Tim.2:8) Paul said that the proper expression of leadership begins with prayer.

What normally happens when there are conflicts? Paul explained that we are to pray “without anger or disputing” because he knew our tendencies in conflict. Letting our anger flare and jumping into the fray, we try to persuade, argue, explain, justify. We want it our way and we want it now!

“Stop teasing your brother!”
“Can’t we have a little peace and quiet around here?!”
“No, I was not upset! What makes you think I was upset?!”
"Can't you handle a little correction?"

Biblical leadership is not heavy on commands or demands. It is heavy on service. And what better way to serve others than by praying for them?

Throughout his earthly ministry Jesus put an emphasis on prayer (Mk.1:35-39) -- he even thought it more important than sleep! (Ouch! It is painful to reflect on how important sleep is to me.) Prayer was also a higher priority than ministry or other’s agendas.

Our world desperately needs men whose first response to conflict is to lift their hearts to God’s throne, releasing their attempts to control situations and seeking God’s guidance and strength. “Lord, help me to see this conflict as you do. Help me see my own role in this conflict accurately. Help me not to become defensive. Help me not look for excuses. Help me not to act before I have heard from you and given you time to work.”

Developing Leaders, I Timothy 1

Leadership is a hot, if not new, topic. Nearly 2000 years ago the apostle Paul was concerned about developing leaders to help him preach the gospel. Paul’s short letters to one of these recruits, Timothy, gives us a glimpse into the nature of mature Christian leadership and how it develops.

Paul’s impact as developer of leaders was based on the depth of his relationship to his recruits. Timothy -- who had a Christian mother but a pagan father -- was called Paul’s “true son in the faith.” (1:3) Like all boys, Timothy probably longed for a biological father who would have led and guided him into the truth. But Paul became his spiritual father. Though Timothy struggled at times with fulfilling his ministry (he withdrew when he experienced rejection), Paul seldom blasted him. Even when he disappointed Paul, Paul told his son that he “longed to see him.”

Not long ago I was having a conversation with a man who has been in Bible studies of mine for the past 15-20 years. He thanked me for my input in his life but then added: “I wish we had had more time together.” I know what he was asking for. He wanted more lunches or an occasional walk or an afternoon of fishing -- time to enjoy being together which would include a more leisurely pace to our conversations. Some issues can’t be discussed in a thirty minute appointment. Paul had this kind of casual time with Timothy as they traveled from city to city establishing and encouraging new churches.

Virginia Stem Owens has written that when parents talk about having “quality” time with their kids, they are often hoping that they can “dehydrate life to avoid the dull spots.” Her point is that it is in those “dull spots” that we find some of the best opportunities to pass on our values to our kids -- driving in a car together, watching a movie, working in the yard. If we want to influence those we are leading, we must plan chunks of unstructured time with them.

Confession

As you have recognized I haven't updated this for the past two weeks. Three weeks ago my dad broke his hip and last week my wife broke her foot. I'm working on a new series on leadership -- I'll have a new post in a few days. Thanks for your patience.

Rich and Poor in America, Part 4

Is it possible, then, that when U.S. companies send jobs overseas that we should rejoice? Though it obviously causes hardships here, shouldn’t we rejoice with some of the world’s neediest who now can earn a living wage?

At times, though, it feels like we are throwing our own kids out on the street so that orphans can have a home. But isn’t there an element of trust we must consider? Isn’t God still committed to meeting the needs of his children? Though the company you work for has not pledged to feed and clothe you for life -- God has! “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feed them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” (Mt.6:25,26)

I recently talked with a man who lost his job and lost a benefit which would have provided his daughter with a nearly free college education. He was obviously disheartened, believing that his daughter would now have to attend a cheaper, secular school rather than the Christian university she planned to attend. But where is the father’s trust? Is our God really so small that he had to throw his hands up in the air and say: “Shucks! Now she’ll have to attend a school which isn’t my first choice for her.” Too many of us ground our hope and our security in our jobs or our IRA’s or in our government. Shame on us.

Rich and Poor In America, Part 3

Who has helped the poor more -- Mother Teresa or Bill Gates? Though it sounds almost blasphemous to say it, if we are measuring in terms of helping people move out of poverty, the answer is overwhelmingly Gates.

It is popular among some Christians to denigrate entrepreneurs. Strangely we think it is more spiritual to serve at a soup kitchen than to begin a business which will employ the poor. One CEO in Silicon Valley grew impatient with such talk: “I keep hearing feed the poor, clothe the hungry, give shelter to those who don’t have it. The [people] that say this don’t recognize that capitalism and technology have done more to feed and clothe and shelter and heal people than all the charity and church programs in history. So they preach about it, and we are the ones doing it.”

David Livingstone, the great Scottish missionary who helped open Africa to missions, believed that God is concerned about the whole man: “I have labored in bricks and mortar, ... as well as in preaching and medical practice. I am serving Christ when shooting a buffalo for my men, or taking an astronomical observation.” Caring for the physical needs of the poor may be most effectively done by the spiritual work of starting businesses. The poor need to work. Adam and Eve were given the task of caring for the garden even before they sinned -- sin only increased the difficulty of their task. Mission organizations and relief agencies should be partnering with businesses to help create good jobs where poverty reigns.

Rich and Poor in America, Part 2

One would-be immigrant wanted to come to America because it is a country where “even poor people are fat!” But many of the poor in our culture don’t feel particularly “fat”. Wendy lives in a trailer home with her parents. Dinesh D’Souza explains that she “has never known grinding poverty. Her father earns $9 an hour as a welder; her mother works part-time as a cook. Her problem is that her public school is largely made up of the sons and daughters of doctors, lawyers, and business executives.” What she suffers from “is not the physical hardship of going hungry but the psychological suffering of everyday humiliation. Some of the children call her `trailer girl.’” Others call her “Rabbit” because of her protruding front teeth -- which Wendy has pleaded with her parents to have straightened.

So how do we help Wendy? Should our government tax the wealthy and give money to the poor so they can purchase designer clothing and braces for their kids? Is this what Jefferson envisioned when he wrote that “all men are created equal”? D’Souza believes that Jefferson’s view is that private concern for an individual does not “translate into a public responsibility involving the federal government.” Jefferson believed that the government’s role was not to undo all wrongs, but to give equal rights. He believed in the equality of rights, not the equality of outcomes.

The church, though, should be at the forefront of bringing the rich and the poor together. We do this by:

• shouting that life is found through an intimate relationship with the Living God, not through large stock portfolios or four-car garages.
• warning the poor not to envy. This is one of the Ten Big Ones: “You shall not covet ... anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
• reminding the rich that their abundance was given by God “to supply for [the poor’s] need.” (II Cor. 8:14) A rich person might help pay an orthodontist’s bill. Or he might be sure to pay his employees a living wage -- not simply what the market bears.
• teaching that our identity is based on being a gifted part of Christ’s body. The poor man makes up for the rich man’s deficits (and vice versa). They complete and need each other.

Rich and Poor in America, Part 1

Out of the sixty students in my grade at Garfield Elementary school, I was one of two students who enjoyed annual winter vacations. As a result, I was frequently teased about being a “rich kid.” Though I didn’t think of my family as being rich, according to the economic standards of the 1950’s & 1960’s, we probably were.

But today is a different world. When I travel south for a winter vacation -- it is almost one of life’s necessities this near the Canadian border! -- I meet many different classes of people as I stroll the beach. And whereas people formerly traveled by car or public transportation, now “air travel has become the Amtrak of the skies, just as cruise ships are becoming the Greyhound of the seas.” The proliferation of wealth in our generation is truly phenomenal. In spite of great differences between the rich and poor, the statistics show that most Americans today are much wealthier than earlier generations. The old cliché that “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer” is simply not true.

Weren’t we wise to have chosen to be born at this time, in this nation? Obviously none of us controls that choice -- life here is simply a gift from our Creator who determined “the times set for [us] and the exact place where [we] should live.” (Acts 17) Israel received similar blessings when God threw out the wicked Canaanites and gave his people a fabulous land with flourishing cities, furnished homes, functioning wells, and fruitful orchards. But he warned them: “when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” (Deut.6) This is one of our challenges: to not forget who made it possible for us to enjoy such abundance. Have you been on a vacation recently? Have you enjoyed trips to Disney World or Mexico or Hawaii? Take a few seconds to bow in thanks to God for this undeserved abundance.

Hypocrites, Part 4

How do I avoid hypocrisy? That is, how do I live my life increasingly to please God rather than people? Even though my predominate and growing perspective is to please God, I still struggle with the desire to polish my public image. I try to keep that desire in check by publicly confessing my sins. If I am teaching about temptation, I might share my struggle to think (and say) unkind words about my son’s coach who gives my son little playing time. (Doesn’t he understand he is coaching a future NBA star?!) Or if I am encouraging husbands to develop a Christ-like love for their wives, I might confess that I watched a three hour football game when I knew Cathy needed help with the housework. Whenever I teach God’s word I make it a point to share at least some aspect of my own battle to live out that truth.

My sole goal is to turn people to the true physician, Jesus Christ. Bernie Schock doesn’t have any answers. When I maintain that perspective, I don’t worry about my public image. I leave my public relations in God’s hands.

Hypocrites, Part 3

How, then, do I know if I am a hypocrite? There are three questions that I ask myself to determine whether I live for man’s approval or God’s approval. First question: How hard is it for me to say “no”? If pleasing people is paramount, I will agonize over every “no” and probably say “yes” to far too many requests. But if I am concerned first about pleasing God, I will be able to risk others’ disappointment: “Sorry, I can’t help out with the youth group. I’m committed to teaching adults how to study the Bible.”
Furthermore, I ask: How do I respond when I am criticized? In a recent class one student’s evaluation stated: “If someone held an opposing viewpoint, Bernie sort of ran roughshod over the argument and moved on.” But another student gushed: “Bernie’s openness for people to speak their own thoughts and beliefs really brought the class together. I loved this class; great learning experience and non-judgmental.” (Can you believe these comments were from two students who took the same class?!) If the condemning comments of that disgruntled student get under my skin and stay there like a bad case of chiggers, it may tell me that the opinions of others’ are too important -- and make it difficult to proclaim the prickly parts of the Bible.
Finally, I ask: how do I respond when my failures become evident to others? Do I labor to explain and justify my behavior? Do I blame others for my sins? “Well, sure I was snippy with you. But you had been hassling me all afternoon.”

Hypocrites, Part 2

What does it mean to be a hypocrite? Whenever I ask this question to my students, the invariable answer is something like: “Someone who says one thing and does another.” But as I explained in my last post, no one (except Jesus) has a perfect match between words and deeds.
Jesus described a hypocrite: “Be careful not to do your acts of righteousness before men, to be seen by them.” (Mt.6:1) Later, Jesus explained that those who make a show of their giving, do it “to be honored by men.” Jesus made it clear that a hypocrite is motivated by the applause of others. (This is one of the reasons why a hypocrite is often a beast in his home -- kids don’t give parents standing ovations!)

On the other hand, the righteous person desires to please a Father “who sees what is done in secret.” He understands that many truly righteous deeds receive little public recognition. As a result, he is willing to put God in charge of his public relations.

I don’t believe my friend who left the ministry (see previous post) was a hypocrite. Though he was imperfectly living the truth, his life goal was not to win the approval of others. Though he needs time to work on his own life, I don’t think he needs a major redirection of his life. I have confidence that the God who began the work in my friend’s life, “will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Hypocrites, Part 1

A friend of mine recently left the professional ministry explaining that he could no longer teach people what he was not experiencing himself. Had he been a hypocrite the past 15 years of his ministry? He believes that he has been. I’m not so sure.
As I listened to this broken friend I began to pray that God would give me a response that might give him hope. I told him that all teachers’ experience falls short of the truths they proclaim. I teach men to love their wives -- I am still frequently nettled by Cathy’s small failings. I teach people to trust God in their troubles -- but I still too often try to solve my problems without consulting God. I instruct people to give thanks in all things -- but I still complain when we have had several weeks of unseasonably cold weather. Do these failings make me a hypocrite? No. They make me a sinner. God is working in my life and I am moving toward the truths that I proclaim. I am a hypocrite only if I try to cover up the disparity between my life and my teaching.

Old Books, God and Ourselves, Norman Cox, Part 7

An anxious prodigal journeyed home, practicing his speech: “Father, I have sinned ...” His thoughts raced with the possible conclusions to this long ordeal. “Will dad take me back? Will he speak to me? Will he allow me to be one of his hired servants?” After rounding the final corner and seeing his home in the distance, “he became aware that a man had left the house and was running to meet him. “Who can it be, and why is he running?” He did not remember any servant who ran like this one, and he knew it was not his elder brother -- he rarely ever ran. The one who ran was like his father. He remembered his father’s running when they played games together when he was a boy. It could not be his father, however, because his father was too old to run like that. Thus he speculated until the father was near enough to recognize beyond all doubt. He was astounded that his father ran so fast. But he was more amazed at the radiance of his father’s countenance.”

The stunned son began his memorized speech but his exuberant father didn’t let him finish. Robe and ring and sandals were quickly brought for the shabby son: “Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead is alive again; he was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate.” It was time to party!

As Cox explains, “Jesus meant this to be a picture of God and Ourselves.” It is a story of “our self-willed breaking away from [God] into adventures far from God. In it he has shown us the inescapable consequences of sin.” But in the story we also find that God, with an indescribable longing and yearning [he runs toward repentant sinners!], waits for the sinner to “come to himself” because only “then will he become conscious of his need and guilt and be moved to abhor and confess his sin.”

I have often wondered what it would be like to have a child or a grandchild abducted. Imagine what would it then be like if they suddenly were found and brought home alive and in full health? That sort of over-the-top joy is the joy our Heavenly Father feels when we come home from the far country.

“Father I have sinned.”
“Let’s have a feast and celebrate.”

Old Books, God and Ourselves, Norman Cox, Part 6

If the prodigal’s confession was not genuine he would have surely added one good excuse. “I have sinned but ...

• you should not have given me the money.”
• I had to get away from my self-righteous brother.”
• I had temporary insanity.”
• the real problem is all of the crooks in the far country.”
  

But the second part of his homecoming speech revealed his sincerity: “I am no longer worthy to be called you son; treat me as one of your hired servants.” In saying these words, the prodigal evidenced a “complete surrender,” one “without reservation, qualification or equivocation.” He was so desperate that he would willingly accept the humiliation of becoming one of his father’s many servants.

This prodigal experienced the embarrassment of “trudging back home after having made such a fool of himself. He remembers that he once loathed his home. He had wanted only what his father could give.... Equally he had wanted to get away from his father. Now he knows that having his own way was the worst thing that could have happened to him. For it would have been infinitely better to have stayed in his father’s house.” He painfully realizes “the disaster that his self-will has brought him.”

Not all prodigals make it home. For some, the anticipated humiliation is too great: “The pangs of the torturing pain which follow a basic loss of self-respect are agonizing. Not many have sufficient courage to face them. In every possible way they seek to escape. Although God forgives, they cannot forgive themselves. There are thousands of solitary drunkards who drink themselves into unconsciousness every night in an effort to buy a few hours’ escape from the anguish they suffer because they have lost their self-respect.” Returning humbly, brokenly, without excuses to the Father is truly their “one lone star of hope.”

My neice is getting married in the Black Hills of South Dakota this weekend. Yea! We will be vacationing the following week. After that I will finish my posts from God and Ourselves.

Old Books, God and Ourselves, Norman Cox, Part 5.
The run-away son finally came to his senses and limped home -- all he had left was a broken heart and a prepared speech: “Father, I have sinned....” These were exceptional words: “Such confession is rare; such penitence a virtue seldom met. Even in the Bible the words, “I have sinned,” occur only thirteen times. And even these are not all genuine.” Some were insincere. Some acknowledged being caught [e.g. Achan] but showed no repentance. “Only twice in the Bible [David and the prodigal] was the confession followed by action which indicated the sincerity of the confessor, his abhorance of his sin, and his pleas for pardon.”

I must be honest -- I don’t find confession much easier. When I have flung unkind words at my wife and know that my confession can restore peace, I agonize over whether to admit my sin. Though my sin is obvious to both of us, I can’t voice it. Is my voice box frozen? Is this a foreign language I don’t know? A dialect of the English language? Would it help to hire a Professor Higgins (My Fair Lady) who will teach me how to say these words? “Repeat after me: `I have sinned. I have sinned. I have sinned.’”
There seems to be a tendency within all of us to magnify others’ sins and minimize our own. Are you overwhelmed by your mate’s sins? Would you like to confront your best friend with her failings as a best friend? Are you angered by the lack of love from a parent? Step back. Take a minute to raise the mirror in front of your own soul. Ask God to help you see your own culpability in whatever is broken between you and someone else: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; ... See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” God is the only one who can enable me to see and confess my own sin.

Old Books, God and Ourselves, Norman Cox, Part 4. The father of the prodigal could thank God that he had at least one good son -- or did he? Though the elder son never left home, “his heart was in a spiritual far country more depraved and more hopeless than the one which ruined the prodigal.” His condition was more desperate because he didn’t recognize his “sinful unworthiness.... Such people seldom do. The older son was as lost in the far country of pride as the younger brother was in the far country of debauchery.

The elder son’s “behavior...proved that the father had two lost sons instead of one.” Though the younger brother revolted “from parental control,” the elder revolted “from parental love.” As a result his hardened heart made him blind to “the depths of his brother’s repentance” and prevented him from rejoicing with the rest of the family.

The apostle Paul observed that “the sins of some men are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them.” (I Tim.5:24) C.S. Lewis made a similar observation: “A man who makes his golf or his motorcycle the centre of his life, or a woman who devotes all her thoughts to clothes or bridge or her dog, is being just as intemperate as someone who gets drunk every evening. Of course, it does not show on the outside so easily: bridge-mania or golf-mania do not make you fall down in the middle of the road. But God is not deceived by externals.”
Am I deceived by externals? Would I rather have the cold-hearted but respectable elder son or the broken, name-in-the-police-report younger son? It’s not a choice I would relish, but the dissipated younger son may have the easier time finding his way back to God. He knows he is lost and that his very life is in danger. The elder son, however, may never find the path to repentance. He had “a negative piety that boasts of the sins it has not committed and is blind to the sins the are destroying it.” He was so filled with his brother’s failings, that he couldn’t see his own.

Old Books, God and Ourselves, Norman Cox, Part 3.
Sin can be fun -- as any well heeled prodigal knows: “Credit of all kinds is easy to get. When a man has resources, while some of his inheritance or talent or reputation is still left, many friends are eager to be helpful and kind. They sell him the wine that creates illusions of grandeur.... By flattery they intoxicate his vanity until he is sure that he is of all men most superior.” I imagine Adam & Eve’s first bite of the forbidden fruit was sweet -- it was the aftertaste that sent them scurrying to the bushes.

When a prodigal’s money or the talent is spent, so is the pleasure: “Satan’s salesmen cease to smile and entertain and become his bill collectors. Suddenly a man finds himself stranded with nothing. He is harried with demands for payment. Eventually he reaches despair.” His wild oats have “ripened into famine, his purchased friends into grunting swine.”

Oh, the depths of his humiliation! “This was the most horrible spiritual hell that could ever befall a halfway decent Jew of that day. To work for a Gentile was bad enough, but to feed pigs was even worse.” Feeding animals which the Law said were unclean, would have been a pious Jew’s “ultimate degradation” -- worse than a Gentile being “forced into begging, thievery, or even prostitution.” After soaring “on the wings of godless self-will,” he was suddenly “falling deep into chasms where he is shattered on the hard, flinty rocks of reality.... This is the inevitable end of those who run away from God and try to be God for themselves.”

No parent would want to watch his child reap such devastation. But it may be good news. When a prodigal comes to the end of himself -- his own strength, his own plans, his own devices -- he may be ready to put his life back in God’s hands. Some people only learn the hard way that life’s kicks have kickbacks.

Old Books, God and Ourselves, Norman Cox, Part 2. Imagine your son asking: “Dad I want my share of the inheritance NOW. I know that it is normal for children to receive their inheritance after their father’s death, but I don’t want to wait.” Would you cash in your IRA or sell stock to give your son what he wanted? Amazingly, the prodigal’s father did just that. Why give in to his impudence? Cox explains that there “comes a time when fathers can no longer protect their children from themselves.” Dad knew that this boy would have to learn hard truths the hard way: “Far countries always turn out more and more like home the longer you stay there.... People are people the world over. If they cut your throat on Wall Street, they will skin you alive in Hong Kong. If they don’t appreciate you in Podunk where they know you, they certainly won’t appreciate you in Paris where they never saw you before. At home the young son was at least the son of his father. In the far country he was only a foreign yokel ripe for fleecing.”

How many of us have felt the pull of the far country -- a new city, a new job, a new church, a new spouse? I know a woman in a troubled marriage whose friends wanted to navigate her to a destination called Relief. There would be stopovers along the way: Peace, Freedom, New Start, New Husband. It all sounded like the ports-of-call on a cruise brochure (which always leave out some destinations: Sickness, Bad Weather, Cramped Accommodations.) Relief, she believed, would remove her pain; offer a quick solution; absolve her of responsibility. But she discovered that she had been duped -- she was believing the “lies of Satan rather than the harsh but redemptive truths of God.” When she was willing to listen, God showed her that her marriage’s problems were not terminal, that her husband was not solely at fault, that hard work could save her marriage.

OLD BOOKS, God and Ourselves, Part 1. As I wrote in my last post, because Old Books have been a staple of my spiritual diet, I plan to share this food with you from time to time.

One of the neglected books I discovered in our church library was a little book by Norman Cox called God and Ourselves. Though the title would never win a contest for originality, the content -- an exposition of the Prodigal Son -- is original and insightful.

The Biblical story (Lk.15) begins with the younger son asking, “Father give me my share of the estate.” Cox believes that apart from the grace of God, this story is the spiritual biography of every person -- “let me have what I want when I want it without any restrictions regarding its use.” The son is like an adolescent, demanding that God “humor his desires” and give him “privileges he does not merit.” He is like the believer who expects God to give him “a dollar’s worth of credit for a penny’s worth of service.”

But what happens when prodigals find themselves languishing in a far country? Though they may pray vigorously, “too many want to be saved in their sin, not from it. Their prayer is for God to give them escape from the consequences of their wrong choices without requiring them to abhor the evil they have chosen.” The judgment of Hosea applies to these rebels: “They do not “cry out to [God] from their hearts, but wail upon their beds.” (14:7) They want liberation, not transformation.

I love old books. Oh, it’s not the broken bindings or the crumbling pages or the under linings of former readers -- it’s their rich content that stirs my soul. I have contemplated making a New Year’s resolution next year to spend one year reading nothing but old books -- books that are at least 50 years old.

My wife is our church’s librarian. Before she took over, the library had been neglected and the shelves had become filled with a lot of uninspiring books. She asked if I would gradually sort through the shelves and help her determine what was worth keeping and what should be discarded. At first, I helped reluctantly. But much to my delight I have found treasures among the debris of bad books. Now I feel as giddy as a child on an Easter egg hunt when I tackle a new shelf. In my next post I will begin sharing some of the delightful books that I have uncovered in my task.

Jesus didn’t trust people. Why? The apostle John explained that Jesus “knew all men” and “knew what was in a man.” Jesus “knows our drowsy indifference to matters of highest importance, our rabid passion for matters that are trivial. He knows we get angrier at missing a bus or being delayed on a runway than we do at crimes of genocide.” (Mark Buchanan -- see last post)

We would be wise to view our fellow man with a similar skepticism because we all sin against one another at an astonishing rate. I inform my beginning students that there are no stupid questions and then I become openly irritated by a question that seems infantile. I promise my son that I will be at his soccer game, but become tangled in a friend’s turmoil. I promise my area chair that I will promptly complete an evaluation form (needed for the renewal of the university’s accreditation), but avoid doing it because I don’t understand the form and won’t ask for clarifications. (I wasn’t paying attention when directions were given in our staff meeting!) On my way to a church board meeting, I promise myself that I am going to let others finish speaking before I speak -- and then repeatedly interrupt my colleagues when I become excited about an idea.

I am convinced that one of the reasons my marriage has survived for 35 years is that neither Cathy nor I expect too much from each other. We understand that with discouraging frequency we are selfish or bossy or cranky or rude. We understand that God is the only one who is always trustworthy and have learned to put our hope in Him. “Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength.... But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.” (Jer.17:5,7).

Mark Buchanan has written a timely book, entitled: Your God Is Too Safe. He believes that many Christians want God to be "comfortable rather than comforting." We want him "to be peaceable, to keep his peace, to be docile, rather than to be peacemaking." We want a God who makes few demands but who will be our "ace in the hole."

But this is not the God of the Bible. The bad-good models that I talked about in my last post were severely punished for their stubborn rebellion:

• they were scattered over the desert
• in one day 23,000 of them died
• some were killed by snakes
• some were killed by the destroying angel

Paul's God was certainly not safe! And he pleaded with us not to endanger ourselves by following in their footsteps.

Some of my beginning students of the Bible reject the concept of a punishing God. Why? Because it doesn't square with their fuzzy idea of a loving God. But as they are considering Christianity, I ask them to consider whether it is true, not whether they like it. There are many concepts of Christianity that I don't particularly like or understand. But since I believe they are true, I adjust my life accordingly. If I reject truth simply because I don't like it, I do so at great risk to my soul.

As we raise kids in a world with a surplus of bad models, we parents may believe that our children must be isolated from such people. But bad people can be good models. As Cathy and I were studying I Corinthians 10 this morning, Paul repeatedly claimed that the stories of the Israelites who traveled with Moses to Canaan were recorded as "examples" for us. What sort of examples were they? Horrible! In spite of lavish demonstrations of God's incredible power and provision, they set their hearts on evil, became idolaters, indulged in "pagan revelry", committed sexual immorality. Why would Paul hold these pathetic lives up as examples for us? Because bad models can serve as "warnings for us." We see in the broken lives of others the consequences of rebelling against God.

Therefore, children don't have to be quarantined -- if that were possible! -- to be protected from evil. In fact, Carl Spackman believes we should deliberately expose our kids to small does of evil through a process he calls "spiritual inoculation." He defines the process as giving "occasional, small, controlled "injections" of an opposing viewpoint accompanied by careful instruction in how to combat that viewpoint." He believes that small doses of the "disease" will inoculate children from being infected with the full disease. Children who are not inoculated are much more susceptible to the spread of evil in their lives.

For example, you might go to the official atheists website with a teen and discuss the atheists' objections to Christianity. Or visit a feminist website with your daughter to discuss how a feminist view of womanhood differs from the Biblical model. If you can't defend the Biblical perspective, it can provide an opportunity for you and your child to do some research together. You don't have to have answers for all of your children's questions -- you only need a commitment to finding truth.

When Cathy and I made the initial decision to home school our three boys, the research and writings of Raymond Moore were extremely important. In one of Moore's later books he used a phrase that has stuck with me to this day: he believes that if parents want to pass on their values to their children, it is critical for them to relate warmly to their children.

Now that concept may not sound earth-shattering, but I have seen too many Christian parents who do not relate warmly to their children. They sound more like a drill sergeant than Mister Rogers, barking out directions and corrections.

Josh McDowell has written a recent article for Dallas Seminary's Veritas in which he explains the crying need of children to have a nurturing relationship with their parents, and especially their fathers. After reporting statistics which show that a child who has a fair to poor relationship with his father is much more likely to go into drugs, alcohol, or violence, he told this poignant story:

I was in Phoenix on one occasion speaking at an outdoor high school assembly to about 1700 students. I had been warned that a group of Gothic students, the ones who dress in all-black clothes and have all the piercings and everything, was going to come and try to break up the meeting and thro me off campus, as they had done to every other speaker. I stood on top of some huge boulders to hold the students' attention as I spoke and had just started when six Gothics came up and stood there with menacing looks on their faces. I knew I had to do something, so without the audience knowing it, I switched my talk to speak on intimacy, the capacity to be real with another person.
When I finished speaking, I brought it down to how Christ can help us be real. I stepped off the boulders, and as soon as my feet hit the grass, the head of this group of Gothic students literally leaped toward me while 1700 students gasped. He came within six inches of my nose, but what the students didn't see were the tears just rolling down his cheeks. And they didn't hear him respectfully say to me, "Mr. McDowell, would you give me a hug?"
Before I could even lift my hands, he clamped my arms to my side with a tight hug, put his head on my right shoulder, and cried like a baby. He said, "Mr. McDowell, my father never once hugged me or told me that he loved me." All this young man wanted was the love of his father."

One way parents can develop a warm relationship with their children is by having fun together. When our boys were young they used to pile up all of the pillows and cushions in the house on the living room floor. They would then retreat to a distant room and race with all of the speed they could muster and dive into that pile of softness. They were delighted! We thought their joy was more important than the wear and tear on our furniture. On our family nights we studied the Bible together but also enjoyed some entertainment -- board games, bike rides, card games, movies. We took turns choosing, so that each person would be able to enjoy his favorite entertainment.

The apostle Paul reminds us that love is irreplaceable: "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." Without a warm, loving relationship with our children, all of our advice and teaching will sound like clanging cymbals to their ears.

How often have you heard the following interchange?

Questioner: "How do you like being a grandparent? "

New grandparent: "I love it! And the best part is that I get to send them home when I've had enough."

When Cathy and I became grandparents three years ago, it didn't take long to begin hearing that standard question. At first, we dutifully gave the expected answer. But as we thought about it, we realized that answer didn't reflect our attitude toward being grandparents. So we have a new response: "We love being grandparents, but the worst part is that you have to send them home."

Children are too often seen as an imposition on adult life. A father might turn down an offer to play golf with his buddies, complaining: "I have to babysit the kids." Fathers as babysitters?! I think God had much more in mind than babysitting when he gave children to fathers. And the same goes for grandparents. Our grandkids are not objects that we use for our entertainment. (Is that why many grandparents foolishly indulge their grandkids' every whim and won't say "no" because it might raise a child's ire?) God has a greater purpose for grandparents than the spoiling of their grandchildren. He has told us to teach God's truth to our children and "to their children after them." May God help us give our grandkids what they need -- not what they want.

After I wrote the above post, my wife read it and related an interesting story. A few days earlier she had been with a friend whose 11 year-old granddaughter was with her. Cathy told her friend our new way of talking about our role as grandparents. After hearing Cathy say that the worst part of grandparenting was that you had to take the children home at some point, the friend's grandchild said: "I'm going to ask my mom if she [Cathy] can be my babysitter." It took Cathy a second to understand what she was saying, but soon realized what an insightful comment that young girl had made. Children want to be with adults who want to be with them. And they have rather keen insight into who is genuinely interested in them and who is not.