Joseph's Forgiveness, Final Thoughts

When Joseph revealed himself to his brothers, he agonized over their burden of guilt: Do not be distressed and do not be angry for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. Who should have been distressed and angry?! Joseph. But Joseph’s deepest desire toward  his brothers was not for  revenge, but for their reconciliation with God. His thrice-repeated claim that God was working for good was designed to turn his brothers’ hearts toward a gracious God.

How can an abused set aside his own pain and focus on his abuser’s pain? When he recognizes that his abuser is still highly valued by God: “He is a man for whom Christ died. No one for whom Christ died can be to me an enemy, an object of hate or scorn.” In fact, Jesus “valued each person more highly than he valued his own life!” Every person can become a saint (think of the murderer named Paul!) And my forgiveness may be this person’s only link to God.

Some injured people only crack the door on forgiveness: “I’ll forgive this time, but don’t let it happen again!” But our abusers will hurt us again. To become skilled at forgiving we must give up our demand for perfect behavior, as we understand that human beings are complicated, filled with many contradictions. When Jesus told the disciples that they would have to forgive seventy times seven, he picked a large number because he didn’t want them to become sin accountants. If we are counting it isn’t forgiveness.

Forgiving “opens the window of opportunity.... [It] always opens the future to better possibilities.” Look at all of the good that Joseph’s forgiveness ushered in: Dad was re-united with his favorite son; the whole family was reconciled; the brothers were able to clear away the rubble of their past; the Egyptians saw the model of what the true God can produce in people’s lives. And none of those marvelous things would have happened if Joseph had pursued revenge.