Forgiveness: Part 3

“God’s Good Work”

Joseph was enslaved, slandered, imprisoned, and abandoned because of the jealous hatred of his brothers. What had he done to deserve such cruelty? He was merely a spoiled brat who took advantage of his position as Dad's favorite.

But now that his grain-seeking brothers had come to Egypt, he had the opportunity to avenge their wickedness. Joseph eventually chose not to seek revenge. Why not? When Joseph first revealed himself as his brothers' long-lost sibling, three times (Gen.45:4-8) he emphasized God’s baffling control over evil circumstances:

It was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.
God sent me ahead of you to preserve a remnant for you.
It was not you who sent me here, but God.

“God sent me.... God sent me.... God sent me.” Sinful human will combined mysteriously with divine will to save Jacob’s family from a greater tragedy.

Were Joseph’s brothers, then, merely puppets in the hands of an all-powerful God? Were they truly free or under God’s control? The problem is that the Bible doesn’t cast this question in either/or, but in both/and. Man is free and God is in control. How can these both be true? I don’t know. But Joseph could forgive because he saw God bring good from his brothers’ evil.

It may take a long time before we see God’s fingerprints in our suffering. Joseph had no idea why he suffered all those years. But when he watched his brothers bow at his feet, he “remembered his dreams.” What dreams? The dreams of his brothers’ obeisance. (And the dreams his brothers found so offensive.) But now he knew that those dreams had been sent by God. He now knew that God had foreseen these events long ago. He now knew that this whole experience was somehow a part of God’s greater plans.

Many times we must forgive before we discern the good that God will bring from the hurt. Only our faith sustains us, knowing that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” If you were sexually abused as a child, God will bring good out of that evil. If you were ignored by a self-absorbed father, God will bring good out of that evil. If you lost your job because a co-worker spitefully and secretly attacked you, God will bring good out of that evil. If a brother cheated you out of your inheritance, God will bring good out of that evil. We serve a God who is bigger than any sin and who will provide everything we truly need to live a joyously productive Christian life.

Forgiveness: Part 2

“The Reluctance to Forgive"

When a famine in Canaan became severe, Jacob was forced to send ten of his sons to Egypt to buy life-sustaining grain. (Benjamin, the new favorite, stayed home.) When they arrived, they were given an audience with the architect of Egypt’s surplus of grain. What a twist of fate! The man was none other than their brother, Joseph. When the brothers stood before Joseph, they didn’t recognize an older, Eyptianized Joseph. But Joseph recognized them immediately.

Put yourself in Joseph’s shoes. These are the brothers who conspired to destroy you. Their cruelty was the cause of incredible suffering--sold to slave traders, re-sold to an Egyptian official, falsely accused of rape, imprisoned for that charge, and more. But now your day has come. You have the opportunity and authority to grind these bullies to a pulp. What will you do?

Joseph didn’t seem to know what to do with them so “he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them.” He accused them of spying and threw them all in prison. Then he released all but Simeon, warning them that Simeon would only be released if they returned with their brother Benjamin. Was Joseph toying with them? punishing them?

The Bible is not like bedtime fairy tales which offer simple problems and simple solutions. Forgiveness for deep hurts is seldom swift or simple—and it wasn’t for Joseph. Why? Because forgiveness often feels like we are letting people get away with something. Joseph didn’t want his brothers “to admit [they] made a mistake, flip an apology in [his] direction like a fifty-cent gratuity, and go on as if [they] had done nothing worse than burping before dessert.”

Like Joseph, we may want others to feel some of our pain:

• The wife who bitterly complains to her husband about his work schedule, knowing that her nagging bothers him. She wants him to share the pain that she and the kids experience from his absence.
• The sharp-tongued co-worker who hangs on to the dagger of bitterness so that he can stick it into his lazy workmate who won’t carry his load.
• A brother who frequently recounts the cruel deeds of an older brother, hoping to embarrass the brother who caused him so much agony as a child.

If we are honest, we often enjoy tormenting those who have tormented us.