Sports for Your Unathletic Child
A clumsy child may find a walk through the house as dangerous as a walk through a mine field. It may be even more perilous for him to step onto a ball field where winners are praised and losers are ignored or berated. So, should unathletic children avoid sports? Not at all. Positive sports experiences can encourage a lifelong commitment to exercise, while also providing opportunities for fun and fellowship.
What can a parent do to encourage positive experiences for their athletically challenged child? First, take great care in selecting a sport. Avoid programs that place a heavy emphasis on winning or that don’t give each child an ample opportunity to play.
Second, you must be realistic. Admit that your child will never be a star. But he can still enjoy sports. When our son, Andrew, was seven years old, he had a boy on his soccer team who was dreadfully uncoordinated and equally unaggressive. But that child was blessed with a coach and a father who praised him for his effort and his determination. As a result, he loved soccer and played for several years.
Thirdly, be careful how you treat this child in comparison to how you treat his siblings. Dr. Chap Clark, who has authored several books on parenting, recounted a painful mistake he made with his boys. His first son was an immediate success on the soccer field, scoring a goal almost every game. Chap wanted to reward his son for his good play, so he took him for a post-game milkshake anytime he scored. But Chap’s second son wasn’t as talented as his older brother. Chap explained what happened: Somewhere near the end of his second year of soccer, I noticed a tear slip down his cheek as we drove by McDonald’s: “I guess I’ll never get a milkshake, huh, Dad?” Even as I type this, I feel myself withering on the inside. With every fiber of my being I wanted the best for my boy and to be his fan and encourager. It simply never occurred to me that rewarding one son ... would have such a painful impact on the other son.
Clark also believes that the reward of the milkshake sent both boys the wrong message. Sports for young athletes is about relationships and activity and fun. The milkshake had made it about scoring goals.
Finally, practice is essential for the unathletic child. Because he doesn’t have much natural talent, he will need to develop skills as a result of his own hard work. A parent can help by being available to play catch or pitch a baseball or retrieve a soccer ball.
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