Joseph's Compassion
When Joseph’s brothers came before him with a request to buy grain, he charged: You are spies! You have come to see where our land is unprotected! He informed them that the only way they could prove their innocence was for one of them to stay in prison while the others returned home to bring back their only other brother, Benjamin.
The brothers’ hearts sank. Their father, Jacob, would never permit such a risky trip for his now-favored Benjamin. Standing before Joseph (and not knowing that he knew their language) they agonized: Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that’s why this distress has come upon us. When Joseph heard this, he turned away from them and wept. Why? He felt compassion for them. He saw the agony and guilt that was still strangling their hearts, 20 years after their evil deed!
We often forget about the agony of the guilty. In South Africa during Apartheid, there were many violent deeds committed. Later when Apartheid ended and formal reconciliation of the longtime enemies began, one of the perpetrators of those horrific deeds was drowning in guilt: “They can give me amnesty a thousand times. Even if God and everyone else forgives me a thousand times—I have to live with this hell. The problem is in my head, my conscience. There’s only one way to be free of it. Blow my own brains out. Because that’s where my hell is.” When Joseph saw the hell his brothers were living in, he promised to help them: I will provide for you because five years of famine are still to come. His compassion lead to kindness.
How can compassion transform our relationships? A wife who is struggling with her husband's neglect of their children, can release her anger by remembering that he had an absent father. A husband who resents the irritability of his wife can forgive when he remembers that she is going through menopause. A worker can forgive his stingy boss when she remembers that he doesn’t know the Good Shepherd.
Compassion enables us to lay the past to rest. (Isn’t this what we desperately want?!) When I am stuck in unforgiveness, I am focusing on what has been done to me; on my pain, my health, my welfare. But compassion shifts my eyes from my own pain to my brother’s needs: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
2012/02/27
2012/02/02
Forgiving Those Who Hurt Us, Part 5
“Defining Forgiveness”
The primary New Testament word for forgiveness means literally to “release” or “let go”. When Joseph relinquished vengeance toward his brothers, he never picked it up again. In fact, it was his brothers who couldn't let it go. When their father Jacob died years later, they anxiously asked themselves: What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back or all the wrongs we did to him? They were afraid that Joseph had been plotting revenge, only waiting for Dad’s death. But Joseph still would not condemn them for the sludge of the past, only speaking his enduring conviction that God intended it for good... the saving of many lives. And when they offered themselves as his slaves, Joseph turned them down and graciously promised to care for them in the years to come: Don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. His genuine forgiveness demanded no apologies, no reformation, no restitution. Wow!
The ancient Greeks did not praise forgiveness. They believed forgiveness was appropriate if actions were done primarily through ignorance. But for evil deeds, they thought revenge was the appropriate response. And revenge was sweetest if done by the hands of the injured.
Why didn't Joseph get even with his brothers? He believed in a different sort of justice. When his brothers feared retaliation, he asked: Am I in the place of God? When he forgave, he was releasing his brothers to the True Judge, The He-Never-Errs-In-His-Judging Judge who will give to each person what is due him for things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (II Cor.5:10)
Jay Adams has written that when I forgive, I am making three promises:
I will not bring the matter up to you.
I will not bring the matter up to others.
I will not bring the matter up to myself.
The last promise—to not bring the matter up to myself—is the basis of the other two. When I don’t hold onto bitter memories, I won’t act out thoughts which hurt you or your name.
The primary New Testament word for forgiveness means literally to “release” or “let go”. When Joseph relinquished vengeance toward his brothers, he never picked it up again. In fact, it was his brothers who couldn't let it go. When their father Jacob died years later, they anxiously asked themselves: What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back or all the wrongs we did to him? They were afraid that Joseph had been plotting revenge, only waiting for Dad’s death. But Joseph still would not condemn them for the sludge of the past, only speaking his enduring conviction that God intended it for good... the saving of many lives. And when they offered themselves as his slaves, Joseph turned them down and graciously promised to care for them in the years to come: Don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children. His genuine forgiveness demanded no apologies, no reformation, no restitution. Wow!
The ancient Greeks did not praise forgiveness. They believed forgiveness was appropriate if actions were done primarily through ignorance. But for evil deeds, they thought revenge was the appropriate response. And revenge was sweetest if done by the hands of the injured.
Why didn't Joseph get even with his brothers? He believed in a different sort of justice. When his brothers feared retaliation, he asked: Am I in the place of God? When he forgave, he was releasing his brothers to the True Judge, The He-Never-Errs-In-His-Judging Judge who will give to each person what is due him for things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (II Cor.5:10)
Jay Adams has written that when I forgive, I am making three promises:
I will not bring the matter up to you.
I will not bring the matter up to others.
I will not bring the matter up to myself.
The last promise—to not bring the matter up to myself—is the basis of the other two. When I don’t hold onto bitter memories, I won’t act out thoughts which hurt you or your name.
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