Redeeminng the Time, Part 7

Problems in Digital Paradise

Consider our daffy digital world:

• We are irritated if our text isn’t answered within a few minutes—“Where are you?!”
• We feel naked without our phones.
• We check our devices first thing in the morning and last thing at night. 
• We try to keep up with the happenings of our 1000 “close” friends on Facebook. (Do I really want to see every photo you snap?)
• One survey found that the average American checks his e-mail just under 200 times per day!

What has happened? An invention that started out as a marvelous tool to communicate with family and friends, has become something that many of us are addicted to: “Cell phones and heaping e-mail leave us even more frenetic, harried, and feeling out of control than our ancestors. We seem not so much to have “saved” time as to have sped it up.”

Like most of us, Nicholas Carr found the digital experience exhilarating. He was captivated by the speed of the Internet, the search engines, the sound, the videos, everything. But then, he recalls, “the serpent of doubt slithered into my info-paradise.” Maybe the net wasn’t so great. He discovered that his habits were changing, morphing to accommodate a digital way of life. His ability to pay attention was declining. “At first I had figured that the problem was a symptom of middle-age mind rot. But my brain, I realized, wasn’t just drifting. It was hungry. It was demanding to be fed the way the net did it – and the more it was fed, the hungrier it became.”

The recent death of comedian George Carlin caused me to search YouTube for some of his routines. Soon I had spent over an hour listening to the good, the bad, and the vulgar humor of Mr. Carlin. If that type of activity became a regular pattern, it could squeeze out time with God, time with family and friends. I don’t want to become a “compulsive nimbler of info-snacks” which fill me up and take the place of the meat I need to grow up in the faith.

So what can we addicts do? When Alan Fadling’s family decided to turn off their devices while they spent an evening playing Catchphrase, he felt resistance rising in himself: “I really have important things I should be doing.” Then he came to his senses: “What was more important than unhurried time spent enjoying my bride and my three teenage sons?”

What do we really need a phone for? When Jeff Haanen answered that question he made changes that changed his life. As I began deleting apps and setting new boundaries, I found myself catching an appealing vision of a better—and slower—life. And my phone once again became just a tool, to be used like all good things given by God. (James 1:17)

Consider other boundaries with? Can you go an hour without checking your inbox? Can you delay a response to a text because you are engaged in another activity? Can you read your Bible in the morning before you check overnight messages? Can you trash someone’s appeal to watch a video? We all receive e-mails that claim: “I don’t normally forward messages, but you have to watch this.” I now seldom open those messages. The most effective way to beat an addiction is to starve it.

Redeeming the Time, Part 6

Develop a “Stop-doing” List

Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, advises people to not only keep a “to do” list but also a “stop doing” list. All of us need to trim the fat from our lives so that we can press on in our walk with God. Here is some of my fat:

·         T.V. Most of us would not complain about our busyness if we simply sliced our T.V. usage. In a recent survey, American households had the T.V. on for nearly 5 hours each day! If that commitment lasts throughout a person’s life, he will spend 9 years of his life watching T.V.! Being a sports junkie, I can be as easily entertained by a televised college baseball game as by the World Series. Therefore, I must be selective on what and how I watch. If I want to watch a Twins baseball game, I start watching in the later innings so I won’t spend 3 hours watching the game.

• Kids’ activities. At some point I realized that I wouldn’t be arrested for missing one of my son’s ballgames! At times, there were more important tasks for me—spending time with one of his siblings, participating in a prayer group, helping a friend, exercising my body.
• Shopping. Driving home, I feel the pull to stop at Menard’s even though I don’t really need anything. I am trying to avoid shopping unless I have a specific need. 
• Job. The McGuffey Readers--which taught millions of 19^th century children how to read--claimed that “One doer is worth 100 dreamers.” The residue of this attitude makes it hard for many Americans to relax, slow down, or even go on vacations. One survey found that over 50% of employees do not use all of their earned vacation time. How can I prevent my job from dominating my life? Take extra time off between jobs. Ask for more vacation—even if it must be unpaid. Don’t volunteer for overtime. Change jobs. Some professions are too demanding. If you have a job that prevents you from living the way God wants you to live, it may be time to find a new job!
• Ministry Opportunities. John was my best friend in seminary. But four or five years after graduation, he became involved with a woman he was counseling. He divorced his wife, left the ministry and married this other woman. What happened? Though I don't know the full story, I suspect a significant part of the tragedy was caused by burnout—John was simply over committed. He was teaching full time at a Christian university; he was one of the pastors for a church plant; he was writing books and speaking to promote his books; and he was involved with some small scale farming. John had few reserves to fight the daily war against temptation.

Like our Teacher, we should not walk through every open door, nor say “Yes” to every good opportunity, nor do every good deed that needs doing. If you do, you may lose it all.

Redeeming the Time, Part 5

The Time Crunch & Our Children

A recent cartoon  pictured two young girls chatting and clutching personal planners while they were waiting for the school bus. One of them suggested: "Okay, I’ll move ballet back an hour, reschedule gymnastics, and cancel piano. You shift your violin lesson to Thursday and skip piano. That gives us from 3:15-3:45 on Wednesday the 16^th to play.”

While chuckling over that cartoon I was reminded that I once calculated my boys’ obligations to their soccer teams. All three of them participated on a city league team in the spring and again in the  fall. Two of them played on a traveling team. Adding up all the practices and games, those commitments totaled over 100 entries on our family calendar! And our boys competed in other sports and had other commitments. No wonder author and educator Marie Winn has said that many children today look like tired businessmen!

We parents must admit blame for allowing our kids to become overscheduled. We fill their lives to overflowing because we fear that we might be depriving them of something important: “Even though my son is playing tennis and soccer, I better sign him up for basketball. Who knows? He might be the next Steph Curry!”

But what do our children really need to grow up and become mature followers of Jesus?

Kids need to learn how to . . .

·         care for others

·         carry responsibility

·         manage money

·         interpret their culture

·         build a relationship with God

 

. . . and much more.

So if your daughter is playing on the school’s volleyball team, will her life be stunted if she doesn’t join the dance team also? And for that matter, how will adding dance help her prepare for adult life?

A recent poll by KidsHealth found that over 40% of kids feel stressed most or all of the time because they have “too much to do.” Let your children be children. Give them time to play with their stuffed animals. To draw a picture. To hang out with a friend. It is very important that children learn how to be alone, to be quiet so they have time to rest, reflect, read. Your kids need a Guide for Life, not a Recreation Director!

 

Redeeming the Time, Part 4

Hearing God’s Voice

Cathy and I recently returned from a vacation with our kids and grandkids. Wow! All day long we were engulfed by their clatter and their chatter, their cries and their sighs. How do parents of young children find any time to hear God speak?

Jesus made quiet time with his Father a priority. After a strenuous day of ministry that lasted into the night, very early the next morning, while it was still dark, he left the house and went to a solitary place to pray. Jesus knew what was coming. He knew that the daily racket of people’s needs could muffle the voice of His Father. So he began his day early, quietly speaking to his Father.

Much of the noise is generated by our fretful minds. . . “I’ve got to get the car in for new tires." "I haven’t done my taxes yet." "I haven’t visited Mom in over a week." "Our water heater is on its last leg." "I’ve got to get a doctor to look at my aching shoulder." "My lawn needs mowing." "I need to get to the gym." "I haven’t started my Book Club book." "The bathroom faucet is leaking." "I’ve got to do something about those ancient curtains in the living room.” As John Ortberg has written: “Hurry is not just a disordered schedule. Hurry is a disordered heart.”

We will never hear God speak until we make time to come into his presence and allow Him to calm and order our own anxious hearts: Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything . . . let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4)

How can we find time to be alone with God? As a senior citizen, it isn’t difficult for me to find quiet time in my daily schedule. But if you struggle to find time for God, look carefully at your habit patterns. Could you get up 15 minutes earlier? Could you put off checking your e-mail until you have had some time to read your Bible? Could you use your break time at work for a few minutes of prayer? Could you find one time each week to have a more in-depth time with God? If you want to hear God’s voice you MUST reduce the noise. If the decibels are not turned down, trying to hear God’s voice is like trying to converse with a friend at a very loud rock concert.

Learning to discern God’s voice takes time and diligence. A five minute daily devotional may be the place to start, but you shouldn't end there. How well would you know your mate’s desires if you only spent five minutes a day communicating?! As with a marriage, so it is with God—there must be extended times of quiet interaction to be able to hear His voice. Would you plan to take some extra time this week to be alone with your Father? He is waiting to talk with you.
 

Redeeming Time, Part 3

Focus On Key Relationships

Have you ever tallied the people you regularly rub shoulders with? My partial list includes: my wife, my kids, my grandkids, my neighbors, my students, members of my church, extended family,  business associates, athletic friends, men from a morning Bible study. But that isn’t all. Modern technology allows me to have regular contact with former students & classmates, missionaries in the Ukraine, Turkey and Israel, friends who formerly lived in Sioux Falls, couples I taught at a summer camp, and on and on.

William Powers “likens our digital age to a gigantic room” with more than 1 billion people who are instantly available to each other. Powers explains: “At any moment someone may come up and tap us on the shoulder – a text, a hit, a comment, a tweet, a post, a message. . . We enjoy the room immensely. But eventually we grow tired of the constant noise. . . . So we decide to take a vacation. But no one else seems interested in leaving. In fact, they all seem put off that you might not want to stay.” How true! We grumble and complain when someone doesn’t respond to our text within 10-15 minutes: “Where are you?!”

The result is that many of us feel like we are drowning in a crowded sea of relationships. This isn’t the way it used to be: “A century ago, social relationships were largely confined to the distance of an easy walk. Most were conducted in person, within small communities: family, neighbors, townspeople. Yes, the horse and carriage made longer trips possible, but even a trip of thirty miles could take all day. And if someone moved from the community, relationships were likely to end.”

Now obviously, people are very important—the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. But that doesn’t mean that I am obligated to develop a relationship with every person who drifts through my life. In descending order, Jesus spent the most time with his closest friends (Peter, James and John), next the Twelve, then a committed group of 72 disciples, then the larger body of disciples, and finally, the masses.

Many of us feel harried because we are trying to keep up with too many relationships. Thus, relationships—which are designed to be renewing—suck the life out on us. When I flit from one shallow relationship to another, who knows when I am tempted? when I am hurting? when I need encouragement?

 

When I spread myself too broadly, I don’t have time for the most important relationships. Who begs me to spend 15 minutes reading with my kids at bedtime? Who exhorts me to spend quiet time with God? Who twists my arm to date my wife? In Deuteronomy, Moses explained that a newly married husband was freed from work and military duties for one year so he could "bring happiness" to his bride. Wow! A 52 week honeymoon!

God wants us to give priority to our most significant relationships. We can’t do this unless we say “No” to many, many other relationships.

Redeeming Time, Part 2

"On a Mission to Everywhere"

Busy. Busy. Busy. Most of us are caught up in a frenzy of activity that leaves us exhausted and edgy. What is the source of our frenzy? We hear sermons or read books or listen to testimonies which convict us that we aren’t praying enough or giving enough or evangelizing enough or volunteering enough.  As a result, we become disappointed with ourselves while our opportunities begin to feel more like obligations.

 

But in spite of the crush of human need, Jesus never appeared to be in a hurry. Why not? A day from early in his ministry (Mark 1) is revealing. Jesus spent the day teaching and healing in Capernaum -- a day which didn’t end until well after sunset. Very early the next morning, Jesus retreated to a solitary place, where he prayed. When his irritated disciples finally found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!” What an opportunity—doors flung wide open for ministry. Why not rent a public building and have nightly meetings for the next 30 days? Imagine what Jesus could do in a month—there wouldn’t be a broken bone or a broken marriage in the entire city.

But astoundingly (to the Twelve) Jesus declined the invitation: “Let us go somewhere else so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” Jesus knew his purpose. He knew what God had called him to do. That made it possible to decline such a tempting offer.

Mark Buchanan in Your God Is Too Safe, has observed that “at the heart of Jesus’ ministry was a holy must. He must go through Samaria. He must go to Jerusalem. He must suffer. Everything he did or refused to do centered around that.” This must brought “wonderful clarity” to Jesus’ choices.

Many of us have no God-inflamed purpose which drives and directs our choices: “There is activity. There is opinion. There is busyness. But there is nothing ... to convert selfish ambition into holy purpose.” We are like Jerry Sittser who lamented his inability to say “no”: “I am like a man on a mission to everywhere.”

Jesus didn’t heal every sick person or preach in every synagogue or accept every invitation. But he did accomplish every task the Father assigned to him. Many of us let fear or friends, pride or pastors, rather than God, fix our agendas. We need to respond to significant requests of our time by praying: "Lord, is this how you want me to use my time and gifts?"

Redeeming Time, Part 1

Does this sound familiar?

 

Goodbye, sir, excuse me, I haven’t time.
I’ll come back, I can’t wait, I haven’t time.
I must end this letter—I haven’t time.
I can’t accept, having no time.
I can’t think, I can’t read, I’m swamped, I haven’t time.
I’d like to pray, but I haven’t time...

You understand, Lord, we simply haven’t the time....
Lord, you must have made a mistake in your calculations.
There is a big mistake somewhere.
the hours are too short,
The days are too short,
Our lives are too short....              
                              Michael Quoist

Hurrying has become such a way of life that we feel harried even when there is nothing truly urgent on our schedule.” We feel compelled to complete even trivial tasks. This past weekend I was feeling anxious and when I took the time to uncover the source of my anguish, I discovered that I was worried about getting my new tulip bulbs in the ground before winter. Really?! Would it be a tragedy if I didn’t get them planted?

The speed of life has even assaulted children’s bedtime reading. The One-Minute Bedtime Story was designed “to help parents deal with time-consuming tots.” The classic fairy tales “were condensed into sixty-second sound bites.” How do children feel about it? Carl Honore‘s three-year-old son wants long stories that are read at a meandering pace. When Honore tries to “steer him towards the shortest books and read them quickly, his son complains: ‘You’re going too fast.’” Honore confesses: “Part of me feels horribly selfish when I accelerate the bedtime ritual, but another part simply cannot resist the itch to hurry on to the next thing on my agenda. Taking a long, languid stroll through the world of Dr. Seuss is not an option.”

What has happened? Why is everyone out of breath? How have we become such time paupers when so many modern inventions have made tasks easier and quicker? Kevin DeYoung reported that in 1967, “experts claimed that by 1985 the average workweek would be just 22 hours. Instead, Americans today lead the industrialized world in annual work hours.” Those inventions did save time--but we simply transferred and added time to other tasks.

Our ancestors, who had to haul their daily water and produce their own food and sew their own clothing, seemed to have time for what is truly important. But we don’t. 

If we stop someone on the street and ask, “Do you have a free hour or two to converse about the best things in life, about wisdom and virtue, about truth and goodness?” we should expect to hear a ready “yes” more than any of our ancestors could. Yet, of course, the situation is exactly the opposite. It is much less likely today than at any time in the past that anyone will have a free hour for the most important things in life.                      Peter Kreeft

God created ample time for each of us to accomplish all that he calls us to do. But how can we do this? Over the next several blogs I will explore the issues related to our pace of life and how we can organize our lives so that we have time for the truly important.